- Max: Johnny, Mr. James might be going to prison. Why are we celebrating?
- Dave: Care to take this one, Dave?
- Max: Johnny wants Jimmy in jail. It is all part of his evil plan. You know, the evil plan I've been warning you about.
- Johnny Johnson: Bingo.
- Johnny Johnson: That's easy- I choose you.
- Lisa: Aww... Johnny.
- Johnny Johnson: And the empire.
- Lisa: No. It doesn't work that way. It's me or the empire.
- Johnny Johnson: All right. Lisa, have you ever noticed know how really good-looking guys with really nice cars get lots of dates? Now imagine: a really good-looking guy, nice car, and an empire. You do the math.
- Jimmy: Johnny, it's not for me to say, but I think you're making a big mistake.
- Johnny Johnson: Jimmy, PLEASE don't tell me how to run your business- which again is now mine.
- Jimmy: Oh, Johnny, by the way, you know when I told you you'd lost some weight?
- Johnny Johnson: Yeah.
- Jimmy: Well, I lied, you look like hell. Go find a treadmill, you fat son of a bitch.
- Johnny Johnson: While you were on the lam, your board of directors elected me CEO.
- Jimmy: That's impossible. My board of directors would never do that.
- [Johnny gives him a folder; looks inside]
- Jimmy: Of course, I didn't think my board would have naked hot tub orgies. So you blackmailed them, did you?
- Johnny Johnson: No, I bribed them. I gave a naked hot tub orgy.
- Lisa: Mr. James, how do you respond to the accusations that you are celebrated hijacker D.B. Cooper?
- Jimmy: I will beat the white devil by any means necessary.
- Lisa: I'm sorry?
- Jimmy: I've been reading the Autobiography of Malcolm X. Remember, kids. Fight the power! Also, I want to give a little shout out to all my peeps in lockdown, and University of Florida Gators rules! All right, let's do this.
- Johnny Johnson: What's on your mind?
- Joe: This is not about what's on my mind. It's what's on my iron fists.
- Johnny Johnson: So you're going to beat me out of this office, huh?
- Joe: Yeah, and it's a shame, too, because in a different world, you and me could've hung out.
- Johnny Johnson: [pulls out nunchucks] Is nunchucks okay?
- Joe: [pulls out his own pair of nunchucks] See? I told you we could have hung out.