- Bill: [finds a bag of take out in his desk] Whose food is this? This desk is not a steam table! Whose food is this?
- Delivery Guy: Bill McNeal?
- Bill: Oh, right.
- Dave: Don't tell Mr. James anything, but here's what we're gonna do. We'll pool all the bonus money and divide it equally among everyone.
- Beth: So everyone gets the same bonus.
- Dave: That's right.
- Matthew: And no one gets the shaft.
- Dave: Exactly.
- Matthew: I think this idea is a winner. I like it.
- Bill: This idea is both fair and democratic.
- Dave: Thank you, Bill.
- Bill: And I want no part of it. It reeks of communism, and penalizes the person who most deserves the big bonus, and speaking as that person, I cannot support it.
- Joe: I have a message you can pass along to Mr. James.
- Dave: What is it?
- Joe: Did you know there's a switch that controls all the power to the station?
- Dave: I did not know that. What about it?
- Joe: Nothing. It just makes me giggle. You know what else?
- Dave: What?
- Joe: I'm the only one who knows where it is.
- Dave: I'm new to these parts, but where I come from we call that a threat.
- Joe: That's what we call it over here, too, Dave.
- Jimmy: I'd like to give everyone a bonus of $400.
- Dave: $400. OK - that shouldn't be too hard.
- Jimmy: Except for one person who gets a bonus of $3,000.
- Dave: Three thousand?
- Jimmy: Yeah - three fat louies. Or as I call it, "The Big Bonus". It's a great motivator, Dave.
- Dave: Yeah - you're very generous, sir.
- Jimmy: Yeah, thanks. I'd also like to give one person a bonus of $0.
- Jimmy: Zero?
- Jimmy: Yeah, zero dollars. Or as I call it, "The Shaft".
- Bill: Joe, who's the black undercover dick who's a sex machine with all the chicks?
- Joe: Why, I believe that would be Shaft, Bill.
- Bill: Mmm-hmm. And who's the cat who won't cop out when there is danger all about?
- Joe: Once again Bill, you are referring to Shaft. You know, they say that Shaft is one bad mutha...
- Matthew: Just shut up, you guys.
- Jimmy: What're you guys doing?
- Bill: Were just talking about Shaft.
- Jimmy: I can dig it.
- Jimmy: Exactly - big day. You stoked?
- Dave: Uh... yeah; yeah, I suppose so, sir. And - and you?
- Jimmy: Me? I'm miserable, Dave. Yeah, figuring out the annual bonuses is - is pure hell.
- Dave: Oh? Why?
- Jimmy: Well, you gotta take a living, breathing human being and put a dollar value on his head. It's a... it's the devil's work, Dave. It's bad hoodoo.
- Dave: Yeah, it sounds like it.
- Jimmy: Yeah - used to be the hardest part of my job.
- Dave: Oh? What changed it?
- Jimmy: I made it the hardest part of *your* job.
- Dave: When did that happen?
- Jimmy: Just now.
- Dave: Ah. Well, thank you, sir.