The Nanny (TV Series)

You Bette Your Life (1997)

Charles Shaughnessy: Maxwell Sheffield

Quotes 

• Maxwell Sheffield : [about a charity auction they're organizing]  Good idea, C.C., putting Tom at our table.

  Fran Fine : [overhearing]  So who's Tom, and does he have a Cruise, Hanks or Selleck after his name?

  Maxwell Sheffield : Rosenstein.

  Fran Fine : Does he have a Dr. before it?

  Maxwell Sheffield : He happens to be one of the richest men in New York, and if shmoozed properly will be investing five million dollars in our next show.

  Fran Fine : Wow. Never mind what he's got in front or after his name. Does he have an "and Mrs." anywhere near it?

• Fran Fine : [discussing the upcoming charity auction]  Wait a minute. What do you think that they would pay for a wise, responsible person to take care of their children for a day?

  Maxwell Sheffield : Now that's a very good idea! Now, I might even bid on that my...

  Maxwell Sheffield : [uncomfortably, after getting her point]  Oh, you mean you.

  Fran Fine : Excuse me, but what happened to the day when you actually tried to hide your horror?

  Maxwell Sheffield : Um, uh, well, you see... the thing is... I'm afraid that, um... well, you're so good that, um, someone might, um, steal you away from, uh, me!

  Fran Fine : Now was that so hard?

• Maxwell Sheffield : [Fran's messed up again, putting his production and Bette's charity in trouble]  I just hope Bette Midler's charity is smart enough to cash that check fast.

  Fran Fine : Well, look. He's not going to take it out on the whole show business community just because I made one itty bitty mistake.

  Bette Midler : [behind Fran with an icy look and very menacingly]  Don't bet the kibbutz, bube!

• Maxwell Sheffield : [about the charity auction]  Look Miss Fine, this event won't interest you. No single men, no shrimp, and no stars will be there.

  Brighton Sheffield : Well, what about Bette Midler? I thought she was coming.

  [Fran gasps, and Brighton realizes he spilled the beans] 

  Brighton Sheffield : But I also thought I had an inheritance, but I'm probably wrong about that too.

  Sylvia Fine : Oh, did I love Bette in First Wives Club. I really enjoyed that movie. I found a theatre that had real butter, not just that BS canola oil!

  Fran Fine : [confronting Grace]  Was the Divine Miss M in THIS house?

  [Grace cringes and hangs her head in shame] 

  Fran Fine : [confronting Maxwell]  Was she here the day I miraculously found that ticket for Victor/Victoria on the front stoop?

  [Maxwell cringes with guilt] 

  Maxwell Sheffield : The auction's at eight. Dress formal.

  [desperately] 

  Maxwell Sheffield : But I wasn't lying about the shrimp!