- Chastity Claire 'C.C.' Babcock: I loathe you.
- Niles: I despise you.
- Chastity Claire 'C.C.' Babcock: Servant.
- Niles: Trollop.
- Chastity Claire 'C.C.' Babcock: Bellboy.
- Niles: Brunette.
- [they start kissing passionately]
- Chastity Claire 'C.C.' Babcock: [Niles walks in behind C.C., who is expecting a romantic evening with Max] Maxwell darling, is that you?
- Niles: [dims the lights, disguises voice in whispers] Shh. Don't turn around.
- [Blows on her]
- Chastity Claire 'C.C.' Babcock: [Writhes in sexual pleasure] I'm yours! Tell me what you want me to do.
- Niles: [Thinks to himself] Cluck like a chicken.
- Chastity Claire 'C.C.' Babcock: What?
- Niles: It turns me on.
- Chastity Claire 'C.C.' Babcock: [Accepting the request and folding her arms] Bwok, bawk-bwok Bawk! BWAK bock-bock-bock.
- [Enjoying herself]
- Chastity Claire 'C.C.' Babcock: Bock bwack-bwack-bwack BWACK! Bwock bwock bwock bwock bwock bwack bwock Bwok. Bwo-o-ok
- [turning around while clucking with increasing gusto]
- Chastity Claire 'C.C.' Babcock: Bwa-AAAH!
- Niles: Mr. Sheffield's been delayed. Did you think I was him?
- Chastity Claire 'C.C.' Babcock: If you tell ANYONE about this...
- Niles: Oh, I'd never do that. We need the eggs.
- [Niles and C.C. are sitting on the sofa, having drinks]
- Chastity Claire 'C.C.' Babcock: Niles, I don't make it a habit of drinking with the help.
- Niles: I've never been any help to you.
- Maxwell Sheffield: [after walking in on Niles and C.C. kissing each other] Ms. Fine, how much did I have to drink this evening?
- Fran Fine: Not as much as them!
- Chastity Claire 'C.C.' Babcock: So tell me Rochester. What'd you do to kill an afternoon before I came along?
- Niles: Well, truth be told, my life was rather empty.
- Niles: [smiles at C.C] But now I have a hobby.