My Family (TV Series)
Blind Justice (2003)
Zoë Wanamaker: Susan Harper
Photos
Quotes
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[first lines]
Nick Harper : [positions package on table] OK. All right, Dad. Look.
Ben : Well, Nick, that's, that's so... um, uh, aw! You shouldn't have. That's, that's really...
Nick Harper : It's well wrapped, isn't it?
Ben : Yes. Yes, it's well wrapped. Yes. You didn't have to buy me a good luck present.
Nick Harper : I didn't.
Ben : It's the salt, Nick, it's the salt.
Susan : What's this? English for 'the stupid'?
Ben : Nick's wrapped the salt-celler.
Nick Harper : Trying to be a wrapping artist. Like the great Christo. Y'know, he wraps up huge monuments for art to elicit emotional response.
Ben : Like irritation?
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Abi Harper : If cows sleep standing up and sit down when it rains, what do they do if it rains while they're sleeping?
Susan : [Stands in silence]
Abi Harper : I know! It is a real brain-teaser!
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Abi Harper : How many fingers am I holding up?
Susan : Abi, I can't see!
Abi Harper : I'll give you a clue: it's between one and three!
Susan : Oh, for God's sake!
Abi Harper : Don't feel so bad. It was two.
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Abi Harper : Maybe I should ring Ben and let him know.
Susan : No, no, Abi! No, Abi! You mustn't! If he finds out my response to seeing Michael in bed with a girl was to get hysterical blindness, then he'll think I responded... hysterically.
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Susan : I don't want him thinking I'm an uptight reactionary just because my eyes are prudish.
Abi Harper : Your eyes aren't prudish. They're more periwinkle blue.
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Susan : For God's sakes, Nick, stop moving the furniture!
Nick Harper : It's not furniture! It's art!
Susan : It's cack!
Nick Harper : The problem with you, mum, is you've got no vision.
[laughs after realising she is blind]
Nick Harper : Sorry!
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Abi Harper : Your mother's gone blind because she's seen the unseeable: your messy room! She didn't see the girl you had up there, though!
Susan : Yes, I did. But you know, I'm cool with that.
Michael : Oh, right! So, cool, you've gone blind? You're so selfish!
Nick Harper : Hey, mate! Do you not feel bad that you've made mum go blind, alright? Yeah? Because the important thing is... YOU SCORED! GET IN! YEAH!
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Abi Harper : Oh, Susan, you're wonderful! You never let anything get you down!
Susan : Thank you, dear.
Abi Harper : I can't wait to see what you do when you're dead!
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Ben : This can't go on! I've got a wife who's hysterically blind, a son who's hysterically stupid...
Susan : I'm not hysterically blind! I might have been for a moment, but now my sight has come back!
Ben : Oh, really?
[Holds up a clock]
Ben : So, what time is it?
Susan : 10.30.
Ben : Guess again.
Susan : ...-ish.
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Susan : I caught Michael in bed with a girl!
Ben : That's fan- really?
Susan : Yes, yes! Really!
Ben : [Cheering to himself] Yes! Yes!
Susan : He's 16!
Ben : It's fun! It's legal!
Susan : Huh! Legal! One day in a jury room and you're talking like Rumpole of the bloody Bailey!
Ben : Susan, I had plenty of experience when I was 16.
Susan : With someone other than yourself?
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Susan : The tour was a disaster! We were supposed to go to the British Museum!
Nick Harper : Marks & Spencer's very similar.
Susan : Even Canadians know the difference between the Rosetta Stone and a three-pack of knickers! Then instead of the Tower of London, we went to Tower Records!
Nick Harper : Tower, Tower!
Abi Harper : It's an easy mistake to make!
Nick Harper : Exactly! Any golden labrador would have done the same!
Susan : If that weren't enough, when we picnicked in Hyde Park, he chased a squirrel up a tree!
Nick Harper : That squirrel had it coming!
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Susan : I'm sick of bumping into furniture and spilling tea and putting eyeshadow on my lips!
Abi Harper : You get used to it after a bit!
