My Family (TV Series)

Blind Justice (2003)

Sylvestra Le Touzel: Joanna Elton-Johns

Quotes 

• Ben : [Offering a seat]  Oh, sorry. Go ahead.

  Joanna : Don't patronise me!

  Ben : OK. I won't.

  Joanna : I want to sit there.

  Ben : Mmhmm. I want you to sit here so much. But even more, I don't want to patronise you!

• Martin Douglas : Can we get on, please?

  Joanna : Yes, can we get on?

  Ben : Doubt it. You're not my type!

• Joanna : My name's Joanna Elton-Johns.

  Ben : [laughs]  Elton-Johns?

  Joanna : It's my name!

  Ben : Yes. It's... it's your name.

  Joanna : And what's yours?

  Ben : My name's Ben. Ben Judy-Garlands.

• Woman Juror 1 : And this is the eldest son - he's got a lovely head of hair. Just like my Kenny's - before the burglary.

  Ben : Can we move this along, please?

  Joanna : No, no, no. Let's hear what she has to say.

  Woman Juror 1 : That was it.

• Ben : [On being overlooked for head juror]  This is outrageous!

  Joanna : Will you let us proceed?

  Ben : No, I will not! I'm an experienced medical professional, former Boy Scout and member of the Tufty Club! I've a wide knowledge of John Grisham novels and repeat viewings of LA Law and Kavanagh QC! Therefore, ladies and gentlemen of the jury, I think you will all agree that I should...

  Joanna : Sit down!

  Ben : Thank you.

• Joanna : Now, has everyone reached a verdict?

  Ben : Yep! Guilty as hell!

  Joanna : What? Edwin Taylor's a freedom fighter!

  Ben : Edwin Taylor is a smelly git who was sacked for refusing to wash!

  Joanna : He's a hero for our time! He didn't want to pollute the water table with detergents! Here is a man with strong beliefs!

  Ben : And BO to match! God, he smells like a wet collie smothered in cowpats! Did you see his barrister in court? He kept stuffing the ends of his wig up his nose!

  Joanna : Edwin Taylor should not have been in the dock! What he did was justifiable sabotage!

  Ben : He put a rotting haddock in the heating system!

  Joanna : Because he'd been wrongfully dismissed!

  Ben : Because he refused to wash!

  Joanna : Because he wanted to protect the environment!

  Ben : Ah! Don't his workmates have rights? Hmm? Don't they have rights to be protected from sitting next to Mr Stinky Poo Pong from Smellbad City?

  Joanna : So, you don't believe in freedom of expression?

  Ben : Yes, I do! I also believe in your right to remain silent - so use it!

• Ben : Look, look... I'll give you £5, please, if you change your vote!

  Joanna : I heard that, Mr Harper! And that is jury tampering! I'm going to have you reported!

  Ben : Reported? We're voting on what to have for lunch!