- Victoria Griffin: [on phone with Kevin] But I told you, I'm seeing my husband's play tonight.
- Kevin Tarkington: Vicky, I'm very disappointed in you. I, uh... I thought you were much more flexible, if you know what I mean.
- Howard Griffin: [taking phone from Victoria] This is Vicky's husband. If you ever come near her again, I will personally eliminate some of your favorite body parts, if you know what *I* mean!
- [last lines]
- Howard Griffin: This advertising guy saw my performance in the workshop as the mushroom, and he liked it so much, he wants me to be the spokesperson for *all* his television commercials. I play a pineapple named Pepe.
- Victoria Griffin: But that's not acting. No real actor would play a talking pineapple. Two things just don't go together.
- Howard Griffin: It's a job. Well, what do you think, Jessica?
- Jessica Fletcher: Well, I think that Vicky's wrong. They go very well together.
- Victoria Griffin: What?
- Jessica Fletcher: Ham... and pineapple.