The Muppet Show (TV Series)

Lou Rawls (1977)

Jim Henson: Kermit the Frog, Dr. Teeth, Muppet Newsman, Link Hogthrob, Rowlf, Whatnot Dancer, Waldorf

Quotes 

• Kermit the Frog : We've had to move things around a little...

  Fozzie Bear : KERMIIIIT!

  [Fozzie whizzes by, unable to stop on his skates] 

  Kermit the Frog : In fact some things are moving around quite a lot.

• [Fozzie is doing a joke while on roller skates] 

  Waldorf : Hey, this is a great way for Fozzie to do his material.

  Statler : Yeah, a moving target is harder to hit.

• Statler : I loved tonight's show!

  Waldorf : Really?

  Statler : Of course not. I just wanted to see if I could say it.

  [they both laugh] 

• The Newsman : Here is a Muppet News Flash. Dateline: New York. Medical science has been baffled by a sudden epidemic of the rare disease, mallarditis. The illness strikes very quickly and causes its victim to turn into a duck.

  [looks up] 

  The Newsman : Mallarditis? That's the silliest thing I ever...

  [suddenly, his head turns into that of a duck] 

  The Newsman : Quack. Quack. Quack.

• Kermit the Frog : As you may have noticed, Fozzie has taken up roller skating, so here he is, with funny jokes and figure-eights, Mr. Fozzie Bear!

  Fozzie Bear : [skating out onstage]  Hiya, hiya, hiya! How about that? I haven't told one joke and I'm rolling already!

• Statler : That Lou Rawls is one fantastic singer.

  Waldorf : Well, so am I! Hey, you want to hear me sing?

  Statler : Only if you sing solo.

  Waldorf : Solo?

  Statler : So low I can't hear!