- Eddie Wolfgang Munster: Hi everybody, this is Googie Miller. Googie, this is my mom
- Googie Miller: Hi.
- Lily Munster: Hello, Googie.
- Eddie Wolfgang Munster: ...and this is my cousin Marilyn
- Googie Miller: Like Wow!
- Eddie Wolfgang Munster: And this is my grandfather...
- Googie Miller: Hi.
- Grandpa: Hi. eh, What are you staring at, my little man?
- Googie Miller: I've never seen a penguin smoking a cigar before
- Lily Munster: Dinner's just about ready, Herman. Would you please blow out the candles?
- Herman Munster: Yes dear.
- [the candles are blown out and curl down under Herman's mighty breath]
- Herman Munster: .
- Googie Miller: Hey Eddie, after lunch your grandpa claims he's gonna change me into a rabbit and back.
- Eddie Wolfgang Munster: Oh, Grandpa has got all kind of neat tricks.
- Googie Miller: Yeah, well I've got an idea how to play a neat trick on him. Come on downtown with me, I gotta get something.
- Eddie Wolfgang Munster: But I don't want to play a trick on grandpa.
- Googie Miller: What are you talking about? He's an adult and we're kids. It's our duty to do everything in our power to ruin 'em.
- Grandpa: Stand back, stand back, I'm gonna use number X-L-438. This is the one that took Abraham Lincoln out of that log cabin, and put him in the white house. Ibbedy Dibbedy, Ibbedy Sassy, Expost facto, Raymond Massey!
- Eddie Wolfgang Munster: You're the meanest kid I ever knew! You're a rat... and a ratfink... and a misserable little brat!
- Googie Miller: Gee thanks, Eddie, my analyst said what I needed was recognition.
- Herman Munster: Herman, we can lock ourselves in the dungeon for twenty or thirty years, till this thing blows over.
- Herman Munster: Oh, if we're going to be there that long, I'll need a change of socks.
- Grandpa: Eddie, You're getting off very easy! Why, back in the old country if I had done something like this, my father would have bitten my head off!
- Eddie Wolfgang Munster: Gee, I'm sorry.
- Lily Munster: If you go with bad companions, some of it is bound to rub off on you.
- Herman Munster: Exactly. Which brings to mind a famous old quotation: he who lies down with dog, gets up with fleas.
- Eddie Wolfgang Munster: Who said that, daddy?
- Herman Munster: I'm not sure, I think it was the man who trained Lassie.
- Grandpa Munster: [after reciting the spell that brought Lincoln fro a log cabin to the white house] I did it! I did it! It always takes a lot out of me, but it worked!
- Lily Munster: [Grandpa's setting up a huge mousetrap at the bottem of the stairs, with the intention of trapping Googie] What are you doing?
- Grandpa Munster: Well, Lilly, he as a handbuzzer. Can't I just play a little harmless practical joke on him?
- Lily Munster: Put that away!
- Grandpa Munster: I never get to have any fun anymore.
- Lily Munster: [after Googie puts nitro in Grandpa's caldron] Have you seen Grandpa?
- Eddie Wolfgang Munster: [Explosion in dungeon and Grandpa goes flying out into the rafters] Here he comes now!
- Lily Munster: What happened to you?
- Grandpa Munster: [beaten up and clinging to rafters] Never mind what happened to me. Wait 'till you see what happens to Googie.
- Herman Munster: It's not a funny joke when it's at the expense fo your poor, broken down Grandfather.
- Grandpa Munster: [with slight bow] Thank you Herman.