- [first lines]
- Maggie Beare: [searching the phone book] Connell, Connelly, Connell. What time is it?
- Arthur Beare: About four.
- Maggie Beare: About four? I thought that's when you said they were coming.
- Arthur Beare: Yes, about four.
- Maggie Beare: And what time is it now?
- Arthur Beare: About four.
- Maggie Beare: They're late.
- Arthur Beare: [Maggie expecting a surprise visitor] Mum, it's not the royal family.
- Maggie Beare: I know that. They couldn't all come.
- Arthur Beare: [to Lorna] I know in the letter I said mum wanted to see you, but I didn't actually say anything to mum.
- Maggie Beare: Why not?
- Arthur Beare: Because I wanted it to be a surprise.
- Maggie Beare: Well the next time you want to give me a surprise, you just ask me first.
- Arthur Beare: Then it won't be a surprise.
- Maggie Beare: At least it won't be a shock.
- Arthur Beare: What's so special about this broach?
- Lorna: It was mum's. And she promised it to me before she died.
- Maggie Beare: She promised it to me.
- Lorna: She didn't even like you much.
- Lorna: She always told me how pretty I was. She never said that to you.
- Maggie Beare: Yes, she did.
- Lorna: No, Margaret. Not with those bucked teeth of yours.
- Maggie Beare: I haven't got bucked teeth.
- Lorna: Yes, we paid a fortune to get them straightened.
- Maggie Beare: At least it was better than those goggle-eyed glasses and squinty little eyes.
- Lorna: My eyes are beautiful.
- [to Arthur]
- Lorna: Aren't they?
- Maggie Beare: [to Arthur] Mine are nicer.
- Lorna: [to Arthur] What do you think?
- Maggie Beare: You be the judge.
- Arthur Beare: Oh, gosh, it's so hard to choose.
- Arthur Beare: And mum, next time you want to do some washing, put some soap in.
- Maggie Beare: I did put soap in.
- Arthur Beare: Soap powder, it doesn't work with a cake of Palmolive.
- [last lines]
- Arthur Beare: [to Wendy] Well, I suppose we could go. Couldn't we?
- Wendy: Alright.
- Arthur Beare: [to Lorna] See you later, Auntie.
- Maggie Beare: Yes, yes. Bye-bye Lorna. It was nice seeing you again.
- Arthur Beare: You're not coming.
- Maggie Beare: [points to Lorna] Well I'm not staying here with her.
- Lorna: I'm not staying on my own.
- Arthur Beare: You're both staying here.
- Wendy: Well, I suppose they could always come with us. They might like it. It's alright with me.
- Maggie Beare: Oh... Oh, I say, Arthur, this is the sort of surprise I like. I think this one likes me.