- Madelyn 'Maddie' Hayes: Miss DiPesto. She's been acting very strangely.
- David Addison Jr.: Really? How can you tell?
- David Addison Jr.: The only thing that could liven up this shindig is a strip search demonstration with you as a volunteer.
- Agnes DiPesto: Blue Moon Detective Agency.
- [answering the phone]
- Agnes DiPesto: If you're in trouble, if you're in a jam, / Don't tell me, I don't give a damn.
- Agnes DiPesto: Blue Moon Detective Agency.
- [answering the phone]
- Agnes DiPesto: Say your pooch hasn't yet come home. / Called his name, bought him a new bone. / Give us a shot. Mad and Dave will find Spot.