Jim Davis: Jim Driskill

Quotes 

• Michael Anthony : [Anthony has traced Driskill to his boat ashore near the ocean. He boards the boat and descends the stairs into the cabin. Halfway down , he addresses Driskill, who is sitting at a table]  Mr. Driskill?

  Jim Driskill : That's right.

  Michael Anthony : My name is Michael Anthony, Mr. Driskill. I think I have some very good news for you.

  Jim Driskill : Yeah?

  [Anthony descends descends to the floor] 

  Jim Driskill : Sit down.

  [Anthony sits beside Driskill] 

  Jim Driskill : Just what were you talking about?

  Michael Anthony : [Antony opens his briefcase and removes a check]  I have some money for you. It's a gift from an anonymous donor.

  [Anthony hands the check to Driskill] 

  Jim Driskill : Hey, what is this - a gag?

  Michael Anthony : It's not a gag, Mr. Driskill. It's a cashier's check for a million dollars.

  Jim Driskill : Now, look, if this is some kind of a joke the boys are playin' on me...

  Michael Anthony : Believe me, Mr. Driskill, it's not a joke. I have a million dollars for you, free and clear,

  [Anthony withdraws a document from his briefcase] 

  Michael Anthony : providing that you satisfy one condition.

  Jim Driskill : What condition?

  Michael Anthony : Just sign this document. You merely pledge not to tell anyone, except your wife in the event of your marriage, the exact amount of this gift or the way you got it. If you do, you forfeit what is left.

  Jim Driskill : It's on the level?

  Michael Anthony : Very much so, Mr. Driskill.

  [Driskill signs the agreement which Anthony retains] 

  Jim Driskill : You know something, Mr. Anthony? If this is on the level, boy, I'm really going to lead myself a life!