- Casey Collins: [interrupting Danny's flirtation with a stewardess] Danny, your wife just called and she wants you to bring home some baby food and some diapers.
- Mr. Lavender: A Russian physicist is attending a symposium in Nice. And he's going to defect in two days from now. It's all been arranged. Our job is to protect him. I want you to meet him.
- [video appears on screen]
- Mr. Lavender: This is Sasha Belov. He's kind of a boy wonder in Russia. And he's developed a particle beam weapon, kind of like a ray gun. What we read in the comics is coming true.
- Mr. Ogden: Mr. Lavender, excuse my skepticism, but the people we're up against are professionals. I don't see how we can ensure the safety of this young man.
- Mr. Lavender: That's simple. We're gonna let Gromov kill him in his favorite way. Welcome to Operation: Masquerade.
- Mr. Ogden: [the director grows frustrated with his actor] Why couldn't Lavender cast someone with at least a shred of talent?
- Scooter Putnam: Hey, look, I didn't ask to come here. I should be home training instead of here smoking cigarettes.
- Mr. Ogden: Spare me your spartan ethic! You have a performance today and I demand 100% commitment!
- Megan: Was it worth it?
- Sasha Belov: What?
- Megan: Defecting.
- Sasha Belov: You think I did it for this? For threads I defected? I give up my home, risked my life for things you cannot put on your back. Megan, don't you understand? You have lived all your life with freedom. You don't know how rare and important it is.
- Sasha Belov: You look beautiful tonight.
- Megan: Thank you.
- Sasha Belov: All my life I dreamed of beauty like yours. Maybe I'm talking like a fool?
- Megan: No, you're talking real nice. It's just that men don't usually gush over me. They grab.
- Sasha Belov: Understandable.
- Danny Doyle: [playing cards] Now wait a minute. You just said you didn't have any jacks.
- Casey Collins: Did I?
- Danny Doyle: You're telling me you're cheating at Go Fish?
- Casey Collins: Cheat at Fish? It's the only thing that makes it interesting.