- Peggy Bundy: Which reminds me, Al, I want sex.
- Al Bundy: So do I, but I see no reason to drag you into it.
- Al Bundy: Peg, you're down here. I must've been dreaming you ran off with that dwarf down at the bookstore, and that I'm living in sin with a Playmate centerfold and her eight roommates who can speak, but choose not to.
- Al Bundy: Well, there's nothing appetizing under there at all. Now, Peg, if you expect me to pleasure you, I'm gonna need the same thing that Robert Mitchum needs.
- Peggy Bundy: A jowl-tightening?
- Al Bundy: No. Beef, baby. Lay it on me!
- Peggy Bundy: Al, do you know that I cooked four hours for that five minutes of sex we had? It's just not worth it.
- Peggy Bundy: Al, can you honestly look me in the eye and tell me that this does not turn you on?
- Al Bundy: Well, Peg, I can look you in the anywhere and say that.
- Peggy Bundy: Al, this isn't normal. Everybody else has sex.
- Al Bundy: [chuckles] Everybody else has sex. What are you doing, looking in windows?
- Peggy Bundy: Yes, I do! And everybody else has sex.