Married... with Children (TV Series)

The Great Escape (1988)

Katey Sagal: Peggy Bundy

Photos 

Quotes 

• [Al is fondling the right foot and leg of an attractive young woman at the shoe store] 

  Jade : Oh, sir. It's been 10 minutes. Don't you think you should get me a shoe?

  Al Bundy : That's an all-too-common mistake in the shoe biz, miss. You see, us real pros understand the need of holding a foot and getting a good look at the leg so we know what we're dealing with. I hope you're not too uncomfortable.

  Jade : Well, actually... it turns me on.

  [Peggy and the rest of the Bundys enter] 

  Al Bundy : We're closed!

  [Peggy sits down in the chair behind Al who immediately knows who it is] 

  Al Bundy : Go home, Peg!

  Peggy Bundy : I am home, Al.

• Termite Boss : Yo, Mr. Bundy! More news on the termite front.

  Al Bundy : Ahh! Let me guess, a termite slipped in the tub, broke his wing, and he's suing us.

  Peggy Bundy : Well, on the good side, he can't get much.

• Termite Boss : So, Mr. Bundy, we tent this baby up and in just a couple of days, adios, termites.

  Al Bundy : Oh, yeah? Well, how much will it cost to tent this baby up?

  Termite Boss : Just a second.

  [pulls out his calculator] 

  Termite Boss : Now, let's see. We're, uh, we're gonna need the special tent.

  Al Bundy : Special tent? For what?

  Termite Boss : Well, you know, your house is shaped oddly.

  Al Bundy : You mean like a house?

  Termite Boss : Yeah, too bad. Now, let's see, you got floors, that's extra. You got rooms, that's extra.

  Peggy Bundy : And windows, too.

  Termite Boss : Uh-oh. Now, you got an attached garage, so I'll give you 10% off, but then it is another room, so that's extra. Plus gratuity. That comes to $1750.

• Peggy Bundy : Kelly, you see what happens when you study?

  [points to the termite boss] 

  Peggy Bundy : $1750 a job.

  [points to Al] 

  Peggy Bundy : $1750 a year.

  [points to the termite boss] 

  Peggy Bundy : Yes.

  [points to Al] 

  Peggy Bundy : No.

  [points to the termite boss] 

  Peggy Bundy : Winner.

  [points to Al] 

  Peggy Bundy : Loser.

  Al Bundy : [points to himself]  Suicide.

  [points to Peggy] 

  Al Bundy : Reason.

• Termite Boss : Listen, I can, uh, squeeze you in on Saturday.

  Peggy Bundy : Saturday's fine.

  Kelly Bundy : Saturday?

  Peggy Bundy : Is a check okay?

  [the termite boss looks around the house] 

  Termite Boss : No.

• Al Bundy : Now, let's see. We need a place to stay that's cheap and comfortable and accepts pets. I got it. We'll sleep in the shoe store.

  Peggy Bundy : Oh, honey, please reconsider. There's still time to get four cardboard boxes and sleep in the junkyard.

  Al Bundy : Nah, it's too much like staying at your mother's.

• Bud Bundy : [to Al]  Listen, I really want to impress this girl, so could you drive me? Oh, could you wear one of those stupid chauffeur hats? And put something under your arm so it looks like you're packing a rod.

  Peggy Bundy : [comes downstairs]  Why, Bud? What your father's got under there already is far more lethal.

• [Buck comes out of the stockroom with a shoe and starts chewing on it] 

  Al Bundy : Oh, Peg. Didn't you bring him a bone or anything? Those are $100 pumps.

  [grabs another shoe] 

  Al Bundy : Buck, here, boy. Here, take this. This one's on sale.

  [Buck continues chewing on the expensive shoe] 

  Peggy Bundy : Isn't that cute, Al? It's like he knows.

• Al Bundy : [when three attractive girls come in]  How can I disappoint the poor ladies, Peg?

  Peggy Bundy : Have sex with them.

• Bud Bundy : Hey, look. The movie at the mall plex must have just let out.

  [a group of people stop and start staring at the Bundys in the shoe store] 

  Al Bundy : What's the matter? Haven't you ever seen a family living in a shoe store before?

  Peggy Bundy : A lousy eight bucks! He would not put up a lousy eight bucks for a hotel! HE'S A CHEAP...

  Al Bundy : [cover's Peggy's mouth]  Good night, everybody! And you single guys out there, remember, this could happen to you!