Married... with Children (TV Series)

Ship Happens (1995)

Katey Sagal: Peggy Bundy

Quotes 

• Peggy Bundy : [referring to her ghastly new hairstyle]  I can't go out in public looking like this!

  Al Bundy : I know you can't. I know you can't.

  [to Jefferson] 

  Al Bundy : Come on, Jefferson. Let's go.

  Peggy Bundy : You can't go either!

  Al Bundy : Why? My hair don't look like crap!

• Peggy Bundy : We should've left them at home.

  Al Bundy : You should've left us at the altar.

• Peggy Bundy : Would Ed McMahon lie?

  Al Bundy : I don't know. Would he drink? Would he laugh at a joke that's not funny? Would he pout the taste of dog food if he thought he could make a stinking buck?

• Peggy Bundy : Al, you don't mind spending the time here with me.

  Al Bundy : [sarcastic]  No. I'd rather be here comforting you than up there in a Russ Meyer movie.

• Peggy Bundy : Al, why can't we go on a cruise together? It'll be really romantic.

  Al : Peg, I don't want to go on any cruise. You know me. All that rocking up and down, side to side, backwards and forwards... I'll be throwing up all night. And then, there's the motion of the boat.

• [Peggy turns on the lights and catches Al trying to sneak out of the cabin] 

  Al Bundy : Uh... oh, I was just getting a breath of some... fine salt hallway air.

  Peggy Bundy : Fine! If you'd rather be up on deck partying with several drunken, scantly clad bimbos rather than be down here comforting your wife, just go right ahead!

  Al Bundy : Thanks. Bye!

• Peggy Bundy : Al?

  Al Bundy : What?

  Peggy Bundy : Make love to me.

  Al Bundy : Why? I didn't screw up your hair!

• [last lines] 

  Jefferson D'Arcy : [runs in]  We're going down!

  Al Bundy : What do you mean? The party's moved?

  Marcy D'Arcy : [runs in]  No, the ship is sinking!

  Jefferson D'Arcy : One of the fat women below smelled the jerk chicken and attempted to cut through the bulkhead floor with a blowtorch!

  Peggy Bundy : Oh, no! Are we really sinking?

  Al Bundy : Oh, come on! If we were really sinking that means that I could just look right into this porthole over here and see...

  [there is a waterline in the porthole that is rapidly rising] 

  Al Bundy : ...FISH!

  Jefferson D'Arcy : Water is seeping into the cabin!

  Marcy D'Arcy : Oh, my God! We're all going to die!

  Al Bundy : [to Peggy]  Thank you Peg, for booking me on the Titanic!

• Peggy Bundy : We should have left them home.

  Al : You should have left us at the altar!