Married... with Children (TV Series)

Kiss of the Coffee Woman (1996)

Christina Applegate: Kelly Bundy

Photos 

Quotes 

• Bud Bundy : Kelly, I got you another job. Damn, I'm a good agent. If I was a hot young chick, I couldn't keep my hands off myself.

  Kelly Bundy : Well, I guess that makes you a hot young chick.

• Bud Bundy : Just for that, I'm not going to tell you who got the part in the next Romantic Roast coffee commercial.

  Kelly Bundy : Oh, please, Bud, please tell me.

  Bud Bundy : Well, she's blond, she's standing right next to me, and she doesn't have a brain in her head.

  Kelly Bundy : Could you be a little bit more specific?

  Bud Bundy : You, you dullard!

  Kelly Bundy : What? I got the job? Oh, my God! Oh, my God! I mean, all I did was read the lines at the audition. I mean, I didn't even have to uncross my...

  [Al stares oddly at Kelly] 

  Kelly Bundy : My... my fingers, or anything.

• Al Bundy : Kelly, I know you're grown up, even though you still live at home and occasionally pick up the phone when you hear the doorbell. But, sweetheart, look, why do you think I carry your baby picture in my wallet.

  Kelly Bundy : That's not me, Dad.

  Bud Bundy : That's the picture that came with the wallet.

  Al Bundy : Hey, when I bought this wallet, I had a choice - a little boy or a little girl. I picked the little girl. She's symbolic.

  Kelly Bundy : She's Chinese, Dad!

  Al Bundy : That's what I was hoping you would be!

  Kelly Bundy : Oh, Daddy... I'm sorry I'm not Chinese.

  Al Bundy : Oh, sweetheart, that all right, now.

• Al Bundy : Kelly, I've given you good fatherly advice in the past.

  Kelly Bundy : Daddy, you have never given me fatherly advice.

  Al Bundy : Okay, then here's some advice from someone 100 pounds heavier with an 8-inch reach advantage, you are not kissing the neighbor!

  Kelly Bundy : Daddy, I am grown up and you can't tell me what to do anymore, so...

  [sticks out her tongue] 

• Kelly Bundy : Dad, what is really the problem?

  Al Bundy : Well, because I... I want to keep you pure.

  Bud Bundy : We'd better call Mr. Peabody and the WABAC machine.