- Bud Bundy: Listen to me! You're fired! You're out, you're finished, you're Must Flee TV!
- Al Bundy: Wow, that came out of nowhere. Why the sudden change of heart?
- Bud Bundy: No, no, it's not sudden. Your acting sucks. It sucked when we started, it sucks now, it will always suck!
- Al Bundy: Well, that's just one person's opinion, isn't it?
- Kelly Bundy, Griff: It sucks.
- Men: [outside of store] It sucks.
- Woman: [over loudspeaker] Attention, shoppers, Al Bundy sucks.
- Bud Bundy: [preparing to do their commercial] Let's just do it one more time, okay?
- Al Bundy: Oh, fine, fine. Take 32, which is three more than it took me, by the way.
- Griff: That's because you've ruined every one of mine.
- Al Bundy: It's because we had a couple of accidents.
- Bud Bundy: Oh, dropping a light on Griff's head?
- Al Bundy: Freak occurrence.
- Kelly Bundy: The fire in the stock room?
- Al Bundy: Act of God.
- Griff: Rollerblading through here with your pants down, playing a tuba?
- Al Bundy: Hey, what I do on my break is my business.