Malcolm in the Middle (TV Series)

Surgery (2001)

Bryan Cranston: Hal

Photos 

Quotes 

• Hal : Dewey, don't be scared, but there is a big spider next to you.

  Dewey : Yeah dad, there's always a spider on bacon day.

  Malcolm : [to the camera]  You know, I'm not feeling that good. I could give Dad some of mine, but that's not really in the true spirit of Bacon Day.

• Dewey : [the family is playing the board game March and Conquer]  Guess what? We look just like the family on the box.

  Hal : Oh, yeah.

  Dewey : Can I be the little girl?

  Hal : Not on my watch, son.

• Lois : That's the pizza delivery man. Why don't you get it?

  Hal : Oh, ho-ho, so my artillery can mysteriously disappear like when I went to get a glass of water?

  Reese : Or when I went to the bathroom and your tanks materialised on my border?

  Dewey : I'm not getting it.

  Hal : [pause]  Come in!

  Pizza Deliverer : It's locked!

  Hal : [pause]  Try the window!

  Pizza Deliverer : What?

  Hal : Haven't you ever delivered pizza before? Come in through the window!

  Pizza Deliverer : [knocks on window]  It's locked too!

  Hal : [pause]  Ok, thanks anyway!