Malcolm in the Middle (TV Series)
Bride of Ida (2006)
Cloris Leachman: Ida
Photos
Quotes
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Ida : [Ida's old-country tradition is not fulfilled, so Reese does not get to marry Ida's young maid] Pack up my things, cow. We leave in five minutes.
Reese : No, wait, don't go. I got two out of three. There must be some way I can marry Raduca.
Ida : It is impossible. You are not a man. The most you could ever hope to be now is a very butch woman.
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Ida : Your pretty words don't hide your fear.
Malcolm : What?
Ida : You are afraid of the next trial because it is a test of intelligence. You are afraid to find out who is really the smart one in the family. He goes around with his nose in a book, sucking in facts. He doesn't have what we have. You and I have street smarts.
Malcolm : Oh, here we go. Every moron who's willing to act like a criminal is loaded with street smarts. Well, let me tell you something, Grandma, you're either smart or you're not. Saying you have street smarts just means you're willing to do things that smart, sensitive people are too decent to do. That's not a sign of intelligence. It's not. It's not!
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Ida : In our country, after the boy turns sixteen, he becomes a "baroche". We watch this boy for one year. When he is ready, he is plucked from his mother's teat and thrown into the town square where he must battle with the other boys for dominance.
Malcolm : Wait, up until this point they're still breastfeeding?
Ida : [quietly] It keeps families close.
Ida : [resuming her dramatic narrative] The boys fight each other with all their might. When it is over, the one left standing is the man. The rest are "dronska". Then more breasts are offered to the proud, young man. But these are not the withered spigots of the mother. No, these are the ripe, inviting, pleasure-domes of the virgins of the village, presented dripping with wine.
Reese : [ecstatically] Our family comes from the coolest country in the *world!*
