M*A*S*H (TV Series)

The Late Captain Pierce (1975)

Richard Masur: Lt 'Digger' Detmuller

Photos 

Quotes 

• Hawkeye : [Pounding on the door of the morgue bus]  Hey, Digger, open up! It's me.

  Lt 'Digger' Detweiler : What do you want, Doc?

  Hawkeye : [Climbing onto the morgue bus]  The Final Reward, please, and step on it. Let's go, Digger, I'm not gettin' any younger. Where do I sit?

  Lt 'Digger' Detweiler : Nobody ever sits on this bus but me, Doc.

• Lt 'Digger' Detweiler : Where's the best place to look for casualties?

  Hawkeye : Try the mess tent. Hash eaters are your best bet.

• Lt 'Digger' Detweiler : Hey! Hey! I'm, uh, Lieutenant Detmuller of the uh, Quartermater Corps, Morgue Detail. I'm here to pick up a body. Who do I see?

  Hawkeye : I believe Corporal Klinger can assist you in this undertaking.

  Lt 'Digger' Detweiler : Not one straight man in the whole army.

• Lt 'Digger' Detweiler : I'm lookin' for, uh, Captain Pierce.

  Hawkeye : You got him.

  Lt 'Digger' Detweiler : You can't be Pierce.

  Hawkeye : You mean somebody pasted my face in this mirror?

• Lt 'Digger' Detweiler : If you're alive, I'm in big trouble.

  Hawkeye : You're in trouble?

  Lt 'Digger' Detweiler : Three days ago, a body fell out of my bus onto the road. Last week, I came up another two bodies short. If I blow this one, they'll take me off morgue detail and put me on something worse.

  Hawkeye : What could be worse?

  Lt 'Digger' Detweiler : I don't let myself think about it.

• Lt 'Digger' Detweiler : You're not dead.

  Hawkeye : Don't jump to conclusions. I have a very good tailor.

• Hawkeye : Yeah. Well, listen, Lieutenant, uh...

  Lt 'Digger' Detweiler : Detmuller. Call me Digger.