M*A*S*H (TV Series)

The Incubator (1973)

McLean Stevenson: Lt. Col. Henry Blake

Quotes 

• Hawkeye : [exasperated at Quartermaster Sloan's denial of his request for a hospital incubator]  We're not asking for a jukebox or a pizza oven!

  Captain Sloan : Oh, I can let you have one of those.

  Henry Blake : No kidding! That would be great on movie nights! You got any of those pizza requisition forms?

  Captain Sloan : [referring to a generic Army requisition form]  Oh, just use one of those standard S-1798s and write in "pizza" where it says "machine gun."

• Henry Blake : [to Hawkeye and Trapper, after an incident at I Corps]  Did you really yell "Give me an incubator or give me death"?

• Henry Blake : Wow. Did you really call a one-star general a "NINCOMPAC?"

• Henry Blake : Captain Sloan here is with supply.

  Captain Sloan : More accurately, I'm with the 375th Q. M. H. Q., COMSEAPAC, SEOULSEC REPDEP.

  Hawkeye : Maybe I'll have that drink.

  Captain Sloan : Now, the business at hand is an incubator, that is if my lieutenant understood what your colonel said you captains want.

  Hawkeye : Right.

  Trapper : And we need one as soon as possible.

  Captain Sloan : Well, let's see what the good book says.

  Hawkeye : The good book?

  Captain Sloan : The Manual of Supply and Requisition.

  Hawkeye : MANSUPREQ.

  Captain Sloan : Um, "inhalator, indicator, innoculator, infusilator - " Here it is: 437 - stroke - R2, incubator.

  Henry Blake : Thar she blows!

  Captain Sloan : "Device for developing bacterial cultures at constant suitable temperatures." Uh-huh. I see. That certainly makes sense. You can't have one.

• Trapper : Radar, how do we go about requisitioning an incubator?

  Henry Blake : Just HOLD it! I'm sick and tired of you guys going over my head down to Radar!

  Corporal Walter Eugene O'Reilly : Oh, I don't mind, Sir.

• Hawkeye : [Mocking Colonel Blake and Captain Sloan after being told they couldn't get an incubator]  "Thank you, Colonel. Sorry, Captain. Sorry, patient. You have a temperature of 109 - stroke - 10. Afraid you can't have an incubator, but you can have a pizza with everything to go. Unless of course, you go first."

  Henry Blake : Let's stay on the ground, shall we, Pierce?

  Hawkeye : Does the book allow us any ground, Captain? Otherwise, I'm afraid I'm going to have to ask you all to take a step up.

  Trapper : Into limbo.

  Hawkeye : No, you can't have any limbo. In fact, you can't have anything - stroke - nothing which is not approved by STATQUOPAC. Which is enough to make you reach for AIRSICKBAG.

• Henry Blake : Holy cow! Insubordination, conduct unbecoming officers, violations of articles 13 through 27, with a repeat on 26.

  Hawkeye : Oh, that must be "altering salute by placing thumb on nose".

• Trapper : Guess where we're going after surgery, Henry.

  Henry Blake : Oh? Without my permission?

  Hawkeye : Don't we have it?

  Henry Blake : Of course you do. You think I'd let you leave without my permission?

• Henry Blake : Look at this, guys. Our own barbecue. I'll show you amateurs how to put on a party.

  Trapper : We're through with parties for a while, Henry.

  Henry Blake : Well, you'll never top last night. That was a real wingding.

  [Chuckles] 

  Henry Blake : I'd have bet anything you couldn't get four people inside a sleeping bag.