- A USO troupe entertains the 4077th in between the usual chaos.
- The Miller Sisters, ensemble orchestra and emcee Jackie Flash, are among a group of USO entertainers visiting at the 4077. Doubtful for once, Francis Mulcahy has a crisis of faith as he compares his life's work with that of Hawkeye. Serious for once, Dr. Pierce has good advice for the good father. Fun for once, Frank is the mad prankster, giggling wildly and trying to get a rise out of Hawkeye. Ignoring the 4077 for once, Radar and Henry pace the floors, awaiting the birth of Henry's son. A trio for once, Trapper, Margaret and Ugly John are rumored to have eloped; for days they have toiled to keep a patient alive. Ultimately, USO entertainers get to go home; for the team at the 4077, it is always "showtime."—LA-Lawyer
- A USO show is held at the 4077th, consisting of a stand-up comic and a female singing trio (The Miller sisters) backed by a small band. Eventually, Radar takes over the drums. Radar is extremely good with the drums and plays a signature piece The performance is juxtaposed with scenes from everyday life in the camp (Hawkeye having an argument with Frank about the best treatment for a new patient (Hawkeye argues that the injured patient should be given a 33% grain of morphine, while Frank argues it should be 25%. Frank pulls rank, while Hawkeye threatens the nursing staff), Trapper struggling to save a patient on his operating table, Father Mulcahy has doubts whether he is doing any good by being a priest as he cant see the results of his work (he questions whether he is doing any good or not), then Mulcahy is called upon to say the last prayers for Trapper's patient and miraculously he gets better.).
Henry is worried about his wife going into labor. He wants regular updates, but the connection to Illinois is a lot patchy. He is becoming a father for the third time. To begin with, she had a false labor and she was sent back home. Henry is very nervous and hates it that he is not there with his wife. Henry's wife gives birth to a son. he is 7 pounds 2 ounces and 21 inches. His wife is doing just fine. Henry is depressed by not being able to see his new baby and admits so much to Hawkeye. Radar cheers him up by arranging for one of the camp's laundry workers to let him hold hers.
The camp dentist receives his discharge orders and takes great pains to avoid injury and illness before he starts his trip home. He wont touch anything that hasn't been checked by the bomb squad.. He wont even open his orders as he might get a paper cut. He hasn't even used a latrine in 18 hrs. Friend of his got his orders and broke his leg the next day. When the jeep arrives, the dentist, Dr Kaplan, disinfects it and decides to drive it himself as the driver is only 18 yrs old. The dentist crashes his jeep and end up in traction. He stepped on the gas, instead of the brake. The driver who was not going anywhere, didn't burst a pimple. Dr Kaplan decides to walk home the next time.
Frank plays a series of practical jokes on Hawkeye, sabotaging the still to spray him in the face, causing a bucket of water to fall and soak him, and rigging the shower-heads to malfunction when he tries to take a shower (when he pulls one shower-head, water comes out of the other and vice-versa). Hawkeye gets the last laugh by collapsing the officers' latrine tent on top of Frank while he is using it. Hawkeye gives Frank a military salute, while he is sitting on the pot. Frank can do nothing but go back to reading his newspaper.
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