M*A*S*H (TV Series)
Old Soldiers (1980)
Alan Alda: Capt. Benjamin Franklin 'Hawkeye' Pierce
Photos
Quotes
-
Maj. Margaret "Hot Lips" Houlihan : Pierce you can really pack it in.
Capt. Benjamin Franklin "Hawkeye" Pierce : Well I've always enjoyed having breakfast in bedlam.
-
[Klinger has delivered letters to all the senior staff as per Col. Potter's order]
Hawkeye : "You are invited to my tent tomorrow night at 1900 hours. Cordially, Sherman Potter. PS: That's an order." I don't understand.
Margaret : [entering from another room] You won't believe what was left on my door.
BJ : The crowd thickens.
Hawkeye : Let me guess, does it look like this?
Margaret : You got one?
BJ : We all did.
Mulcahy : [entering from outside] Hello, all. Say, I just received the most peculiar...
[they all hold up their own letters]
Mulcahy : Oh... does anyone know what this means?
BJ : I do. We're all invited to Col. Potter's tent for an after-dinner riddle.
Hawkeye : Klinger, did he say anything to you what he gave these to you?
Klinger : No. Just ordered me to deliver them and made a beeline for his office with that package he got today.
Margaret : Package? What was in it?
Klinger : I don't know, but he's been antsy about getting it ever since the trip to Tokyo. Came from some lawyers.
Hawkeye : Lawyers? Why would he be hearing from lawyers? Divorce?
Margaret : That's stupid. Who would divorce that sweet, wonderful man?
Hawkeye : Maybe it's a lawsuit.
BJ : Tax problem.
Charles : Or a will. I don't wish to sound ghoulish and, mind you, I pray I'm assessing the evidence incorrectly, but what if the sick friend with the bad lab report is a ruse and it's Col. Potter who's sick.
Margaret : No, don't even think that.
Hawkeye : Let's not jump to conclusions.
Charles : Agreed, but that would explain the phone call, the trip to Tokyo, his mood and the package from the lawyers.
BJ : Yes, it would.
Hawkeye : Look, if he's ill, we'll find out soon enough. I'm sure he'll tell us in his own way.
Mulcahy : [looks at his letter again] Maybe he is.
-
Hawkeye : Oh, Beej, listen. You hear that?
BJ : No. I don't hear a sound.
Hawkeye : Exactly. And that's because, since I assumed the mantle of command, this place has been humming along like a well-oiled marine.
BJ : Hawk, the only order you've given in two days is for a double scotch.
Hawkeye : All part of my master plan, leadership by lack of example. I command by doing nothing.
-
Col. Sherman T. Potter : The only meat these folks get is horse meat. It sensitizes the whole system. You're using horse serum, aren't you? They're allergic to it.
Charles : Of course. Given time, I would have deduces the same thing.
Capt. Benjamin Franklin "Hawkeye" Pierce : I kind of doubt that, Charles. You have absolutely no horse sense.
BJ : Clomp your foot twice if you disagree.