- Margaret: [both Hawkeye and Margaret are in the Swamp, drunk] This place stinks.
- Hawkeye: Right.
- Margaret: The food stinks, the liquor stinks, and the smell stinks!
- Hawkeye: You said it.
- Margaret: And the *war* stinks!
- Hawkeye: It certainly does!
- Margaret: What are you agreeing for? You're one of the things around here that stinks!
- Capt. B.J. Hunnicutt: Nice lookin' taxi driver.
- Hawkeye: A fantastic woman. Y'know she's taken in a bunch of widows and kids to live with her?
- Col. Sherman T. Potter: That's why I put her at the head of the line.
- Hawkeye: Why didn't you tell me?
- Col. Sherman T. Potter: Because when they make you a colonel, they take the bone out of your head that makes you explain orders. We're gonna drink your whisky, you wanna join us?
- Hawkeye: Oh, as long as you're buying.