- Trapper John's ulcer flares up and could provide grounds for a medical discharge from the Army.
- Enlisted men will fall into the Mess Tent to receive their physicals while officers will examine themselves and vice versa in private. When it comes to the cream of American military womanhood, doctors can do nothing while alone with them but give them a good going-over. Or so says the new Army regulation. (Go, JAG!) Hotlips gets to play doctor with Hawkeye; as Henry examines the devil's slipcover. Trapper will not allow anyone to examine him...he is worried. Trapper has a million dollar hole in his belly, a real, live duodenal ulcer. Henry and Hawkeye say it is his ticket out of Korea. There's a huge bash planned to send Trapper on his way and Hotlips is a little snoggered. But, those wacky Army regulations... How on earth will Hawkeye (and Hotlips) ever stand it without Trapper?—LA-Lawyer
- Enlisted men will fall into the Mess Tent to receive their physicals while officers will examine themselves and vice versa in private. Hawkeye and Trapper are asked to give the physicals to the enlisted men, while Frank is assigned to check all the men for Hernias. When it comes to the cream of American military womanhood, doctors can do nothing while alone with them but give them a good going-over. Or so says the new Army regulation. (Go, JAG!) ..
Hotlips gets to play doctor with Hawkeye (Hawkeye tries to be fresh with Houlihan, but she gives it back as good as she gets.. Hawkeye says Houlihan should lose about 10 pounds and stop grazing between meals); as Henry examines the devil's slipcover (Radar tells Henry that his parents never took off their clothes and said that bare skin is the devil's slipcover). Radar never had his tonsils out. Radar got a new tattoo of an anchor. Henry says that getting a tattoo is very unsanitary.
Klinger tries to fudge an x-ray to get a discharge based on a medical condition, but Hawkeye says that the ink is not even dry where he touched up the x-ray. Trapper will not allow anyone to examine him (Frank has been assigned to do Trapper's physical)...he is worried (he tells Hawkeye that the equipment is antiquated and there isn't a clean finger in the entire camp). Trapper has a million dollar hole in his belly, a real, live duodenal ulcer. He doesn't want to be diagnosed here, as he doesn't want to be treated in this pig pen. Henry and Hawkeye say it is his ticket out of Korea. THis is confirmed in Trapper's x-ray.
Trapper is already dreaming about spending time with his 2 daughters. Klinger wants to know what got Trapper so worried, that he got an ulcer.. He will try and replicate the same. This also means that Trapper and Hawkeye will be separated. Hawkeye says Trapper made the war bearable. There's a huge bash planned to send Trapper on his way and Hotlips is a little snoggered. Frank is happy that with Margaret he will be able to outflank Hawkeye. Houlihan couldn't care less as she is worried about her weight and figure. When Houlihan tells Frank that she feels she is fat, he agrees with her, but then saves himself by calling her full-bodied.. Radar delivers the news to Trapper that while his Ulcer has been approved by Army HQ, but he has been ordered to Tokyo for 3 weeks of treatment. Trapper doesn't get to go home on an ulcer. Trapper can chose to get treated at 4077, or in Tokyo after which he can be re-assigned to a new MASH unit. Trapper asks Radar not to let anyone know till after the farewell bash.
At the party Margaret reveals her lust for Trapper and calls Frank "Needle Nose". After Hawk gives the farewell presents, Trapper reveals that he is staying due to army regulations. Trapper is treated by Hawkeye at the 4077.
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