Photos
Quotes
-
Col. Potter : Cute idea, Klinger. Now cancel the picnic.
Cpl. Maxwell Q. Klinger : You don't believe I'm gonna eat this jeep, do you, sir?
Col. Potter : Let's say I find it hard to swallow.
-
Corporal Walter Eugene O'Reilly : Colonel, he's crazy.
Cpl. Maxwell Q. Klinger : See? I got a witness! You gotta give me a Section 8 and send me home.
Col. Potter : No dice.
Cpl. Maxwell Q. Klinger : If you don't throw me out for being a nut, you're nuttier than I am!
[Potter gives him a stern look]
Cpl. Maxwell Q. Klinger : Sir.
-
B.J. : [Klinger enters post-op, holding his stomach and groaning] Klinger, what is it?
Cpl. Maxwell Q. Klinger : Something I ate.
Hawkeye : I told you the food here should not be taken internally.
Cpl. Maxwell Q. Klinger : I had a couple of bolts, a horn button, part of a windshield wiper and a condenser.
B.J. : Well-balanced meal.
Hawkeye : But crazy.
Cpl. Maxwell Q. Klinger : Not crazy enough.
B.J. : I get it.
[to a nurse]
B.J. : Baker, X-ray the Lebanese for hardware. He's in for a tune-up.
Hawkeye : And try not to rattle when you walk.
-
Col. Potter : A for effort, Klinger, but it won't work.
Cpl. Maxwell Q. Klinger : Watch this.
Corporal Walter Eugene O'Reilly : [Klinger swallows a bolt from the jeep, gulping] Oh, wow! Right down.
Cpl. Maxwell Q. Klinger : Dip it in a little 30-weight motor oil, pop it in, and let it slide down the gullet like a blue point oyster.