- Tinker Dill: I was in the army with a bloke who tried to top himself, once.
- Eric Catchpole: 'ow'd he do it?
- Tinker Dill: Well after a great deal of thought, he settled on hanging.
- Eric Catchpole: Hanging? hmm.
- Tinker Dill: He found a tree with a branch that stretched right out over the sea...
- Eric Catchpole: Spectacular.
- Tinker Dill: ...and to save himself pain, he took an overdose of pills...
- Eric Catchpole: Wasn't leavin' anything to chance, was 'e?
- Tinker Dill: ...and just to make trebly sure, he decided to shoot himself.
- Eric Catchpole: What happened?
- Tinker Dill: Well he slipped the noose 'round his neck, cocked the pistol, swallowed the pills, and stepped out over the cliff.
- Eric Catchpole: ...and...
- Tinker Dill: Well the jerk of the rope ruined his aim. The bullet missed his head, cut the rope, he dropped like a stone into the sea, swallowed so much salt water that he vomited up the pills, and swam back to shore a better and a wiser man Gunga Din. Last I heard he was growing chrysanth's in Yarmouth.