- Jack Towne: You guys have got it made. All you have to do is sit here ane wait for things to happen. I have to be creative. Five days a week, fifty weeks a year. It's an impossible job.
- Art Donovan: And you prove it. Five days a week, fifty weeks a year.
- Lou Grant: What about Driscoll?
- Art Donovan: Well, he's down in El Segundo. Policemen are on strike.
- Lou Grant: He's covering it?
- Art Donovan: No, he's robbing a bank.
- Charlie Hume: Listen, when we ran those letters last time, our circulation was never better. In fact, I recall a rumor going round that Mrs. Pynchon wrote 'em.
- Charlie Hume: Now anybody who tries to do something nice for somebody is going to be looked upon with suspicion.
- Lou Grant: Yeah, pussycats like me are gonna be outta style.
- Lou Grant: [Lou and Jack always seem to meet in the Paper's bathroom] What do you do? Keep your eye on this place until you see me go in?
- Jack Towne: No, somebody calls me and lets me know.