- [trying to sneak into the rated R movie "Vesuvious: The Eruption"]
- Gordo: [whispers to Lizzie and Miranda] Talk like you've just seen the movie.
- Gordo: The critics were right! Vesuvious explodes off the screen!
- Miranda: Another triumph for Affleck! His love scenes are hotter than lava! Don't hail Ceasar, hail Oscar!
- Lizzie: I liked the volcano!
- Lizzie: [to Gordo and Miranda] What? I like volcanos!
- Lizzie: This is so cool, you guys, we're gonna be on TV.
- [in Lizzie's head, on the red carpet]
- Animated Lizzie: This could be my big break. Next, I'll be starring opposite Ben Affleck in Vesuvious 2.
- Gordo: It's official. We're the only three kids in this school who haven't seen "Vesuvius: The Eruption".
- Miranda: Duh. 'Cause it's rated R.
- Lizzie: Besides, Gordo, since when do you care what other people do?
- Gordo: I don't. I just wanna see the movie. An entire ancient city destroyed by lava. And...
- Miranda: ...And Ben Affleck in a doomed love affair.
- Lizzie: I know, you're right. It's like the best movie ever made. Why does it have to be rated R?
- Gordo: Because of adult situations, mild violence and brief nudity.
- Sam McGuire: [about the "miniature golf"] Who won?
- [the kids speak at the same time]
- Lizzie: Gordo.
- Miranda: Lizzie.
- Gordo: Miranda.
- Lizzie: The sports guy will announce who won the car races, and Gordo's taping it at home, and he doesn't wanna know who the winner is. Right, Gordo?
- Gordo: Yeah... I-I love car races.
- Sam McGuire: Really, Gordo? I had no idea that you were a racing nut. What are you into? NASCAR? Formula 1?
- Gordo: All of them! NASCAR, Formula 1... Formula 2...
- Miranda: [walking over to Lizzie, who is putting her notebooks in her locker, with Gordo] Hey.
- Lizzie: [turns; closes locker] Oh, hey. I was thinking since we can't go to the movie this weekend, we should go to Mount Rushmore mini golf.
- [Gordo makes a face with a sound effect]
- Miranda: Miniature golf? Is that the dorkiest thing you can think of? How about the sci-fi convention?
- Lizzie: [defiant] Hey, I like miniature golf, okay? You're just still mad about your fourth-grade birthday party when I set the course record for the windmill.
- [pictures with sound effect ensue]
- Larry Tudgeman: [walking with friend toward the friends' direction] I can't believe I'm saying this, but Vesuvius is actually better than Star Wars.
- [turns to his locker]
- Friend: I've seen it four times. And I still can't figure out how they do that thing with the lava.
- Larry Tudgeman: [looks sideways with a sly look on his face] I'm not watching the lava. I'm watchin' the slave girls.
- Friend: Yeahhhhh.
- [Larry then turns to Lizzie]
- Larry Tudgeman: Ooooh, Lizzie.
- [growls; Lizzie is grossed out]
- Gordo: Okay, new plan. We tell our parents we're going miniature golfing when instead, we go and see Vesuvius.
- Lizzie: [incredulous] Okay, so you're telling me to lie to my parents?
- Gordo: No, I'm asking you to make a last-minute change in plans in advance.
- Miranda: Mmmhmmm. That sounds reasonable to me.
- Lizzie: [slight nod, haltingly] Okay. I'll try. But I don't think it's gonna work.
- [slides into kitchen, looking cautiously at her mom and then slides back out of view, scared]
- Animated Lizzie: [hiding behind a huge banana in a fruit basket] This is never gonna work.
- Lizzie: [slides back; bravely walks to her mom] Mom? Can I ask you something?
- Animated Lizzie: [now behind an orange and banana in the oversized basket and next to an apple] This is never gonna work!
- Jo McGuire: Sure, Sweetie. What's up?
- Lizzie: Uh, can I go play miniature golf with Gordo and Miranda this weekend?
- Animated Lizzie: [shaking head, now on edge of bowl in the front, eyes wide] This is never gonna work!
- Jo McGuire: [uppity] Sure. That sounds fun.
- Animated Lizzie: What?
- [slides out of bowl and puts arms up in questioning stance and Lizzie excitedly toddles out of the room]