- Judy Hensler: [to Beaver] You won first prize. But how come your dumb parrot calls everybody, boys?
- Larry Mondello: 'Cause, he hates girls, that's why!
- The Beaver: Gee, Dad, I guess there's an awful lot more to bein' a father than just makin' money and hollerin'.
- Miss Alice Landers: You shouldn't have been embarrassed to be the only student without a pet. Why, you know we're all friends here.
- The Beaver: Yes, but even your best friends laugh at you, and say you're dumb when you do something different.
- Miss Alice Landers: Well, I - I'm afraid that's right, Beaver.
- Larry Mondello: I said my father was Perry Como.
- The Beaver: What happened when they found out?
- Larry Mondello: I had to change schools.