- [first lines]
- June Cleaver: [cooking breakfast in the kitchen] What's in the paper, Ward?
- Ward Cleaver: Nothing.
- June Cleaver: Then why have you been reading it for the last twenty minutes?
- Ward Cleaver: Well, you have to read it before you know there's nothing in it.
- Wally Cleaver: When Lumpy Rutherford had his tonsils out, he brought 'em to school in this little jar. They were floatin' around in the alcohol like a couple of little sausages. Then, when...
- June Cleaver: [quietly, looking queasy] Wally, please?
- Wally Cleaver: Oh, I'm sorry, Mom. I forgot you were a girl.
- Boy: What are tonsils for, anyway?
- Richard Rickover: Oh, they catch the crumbs when you swallow, so you don't choke on 'em.