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- Theodore 'Beaver' Cleaver: [concerned about his freckles, Beaver goes to see Clyde Appleby, who is covered with them] How do you stand it?
- Clyde Appleby: Stand what?
- Theodore 'Beaver' Cleaver: Havin' freckles.
- Clyde Appleby: Heck, I like 'em... And you know what happened once?
- Theodore 'Beaver' Cleaver: What?
- Clyde Appleby: Once a big girl asked me if she could count my freckles.
- Theodore 'Beaver' Cleaver: Yeah?
- Clyde Appleby: Yeah. And you know what?
- Theodore 'Beaver' Cleaver: What?
- Clyde Appleby: Promise you won't tell anybody.
- Theodore 'Beaver' Cleaver: I promise.
- Clyde Appleby: Cross your heart and hope to break a leg?
- Theodore 'Beaver' Cleaver: Cross my heart and hope to break a leg.
- Clyde Appleby: [almost whispering] I let her do it!
- Theodore 'Beaver' Cleaver: [concerned about his freckles, Beaver goes to see Clyde Appleby, who is covered with them] How do you stand it?
- Clyde Appleby: Stand what?
- Theodore 'Beaver' Cleaver: Havin' freckles.
- Clyde Appleby: Heck, I like 'em... And you know what happened once?
- Theodore 'Beaver' Cleaver: What?
- Clyde Appleby: Once a big girl asked me if she could count my freckles.
- Theodore 'Beaver' Cleaver: Yeah?
- Clyde Appleby: Yeah. And you know what?
- Theodore 'Beaver' Cleaver: What?
- Clyde Appleby: Promise you won't tell anybody.
- Theodore 'Beaver' Cleaver: I promise.
- Clyde Appleby: Cross your heart and hope to break a leg?
- Theodore 'Beaver' Cleaver: Cross my heart and hope to break a leg.
- Clyde Appleby: [almost whispering] I let her do it!
- Ward Cleaver: It's not important what you look like on the outside. It's what you are on the inside that counts.
- Theodore 'Beaver' Cleaver: Gee, nobody can see my insides!
- Theodore 'Beaver' Cleaver: I'm going over to Lumpy Rutherford's with Whitey and Gilbert. Lumpy might let us wash his car.
- June Cleaver: Let you wash it?
- Theodore 'Beaver' Cleaver: Yeah. Last time he charged us a quarter to wash it. This time he might let us do it for nothin'.
- [last lines]
- June Cleaver: It certainly was a change. Yesterday, freckles was the biggest thing in his whole life.
- Ward Cleaver: Yeah, well, that's one of the advantages of being a kid. The biggest problem in your life seldom lasts more than twenty-four hours.
- June Cleaver: Wally, you're a dear, sweet boy.
- Wallace 'Wally' Cleaver: Aw, gee, Mom! Don't say that! It kind of makes me feel creepy.
- Ward Cleaver: See, it just doesn't matter what Lincoln looked like. Now, do you understand?
- Theodore 'Beaver' Cleaver: Sure Dad. Well, I wouldn't care what I looked like either if I was President of the United States.