- Theodore Cleaver: This is one of my good suits, Eddie. My Mom's gonna be pretty sore when she finds out what happened.
- Eddie Haskell: Wait a minute, kid. You're not gonna be a little squealer are ya?
- Theodore Cleaver: Well, you're the one that did it.
- Eddie Haskell: Yeah, but if you go around squealin' on guys, nobody's gonna like ya.
- Larry Mondello: Is that why nobody likes you, Eddie?
- Eddie Haskell: Shut up, fat boy.
- June Cleaver: Now Beaver, you disobeyed me and you went out in your good clothes. And you ripped your trousers, and you lied to us.
- Theodore Cleaver: Yes, Mom.
- Ward Cleaver: You know you're going to have to be punished, don't you?
- Theodore Cleaver: Yes, sir.
- Ward Cleaver: Well, we want to be fair about it. What do you think a fair punishment would be?
- Theodore Cleaver: No stewed figs for dessert.
- Ward Cleaver: Beaver, you know you don't like stewed figs.
- Theodore Cleaver: Oh. Yeah.
- Wally Cleaver: Hey Dad. Why don't you make him sleep on the floor?
- Theodore Cleaver: Gee, Dad, that'd be neat
- Ward Cleaver: Wally, I think I can handle this myself. I'll tell you, Beaver. I think a fair punishment would be for you to spend the rest of the afternoon up here in your room.
- Theodore Cleaver: Gee, Dad. What can I do up here?
- June Cleaver: Well, you could take a nap.
- Theodore Cleaver: I haven't taken a nap since a long time ago.
- June Cleaver: I'm sorry, Beaver, but that's going to be your punishment.
- Ward Cleaver: C'mon, boy. Into bed. Let's go, Wally.
- Theodore Cleaver: Dad, couldn't Wally take a nap with me? And now we can play checkers or something.
- Wally Cleaver: Yeah, Dad. I wouldn't mind.
- Ward Cleaver: All right, Wally, come on. Everybody out.