- Fake Devon Miles: Michael, you're always complaining about aborted vacations, well, now's your chance.
- Michael Knight: Now?
- Fake Devon Miles: Yes, four whole weeks to do with as you please.
- Michael Knight: What is going on here? You don't just throw K.I.T.T. away like a TV set or a toaster!
- Michael Knight: [Michael has been put on probation] What exactly does that mean?
- Lloyd: It means no more notoriety, no more stunts, no more car chases, no more James Bond fantasies.
- Jennifer Knight: Devon told me you were on a tropical vacation. What'd you do, trade your ticket in for burglars' tools?
- Michael Knight: Ok, so you don't like me. Except for the fact that you're the daughter of a man I respected, I don't like you very much either. But we got something in common here.
- Jennifer Knight: Yeah, we're mammals.
- K.I.T.T.: I'm the Knight Industries Two Thousand, sure enough. Ready to ramble, ready to roll, ready to strut my stuff!
- Devon Miles: We bombarded a mass of plutonium with titanium mines, thereby creating a new isotope.
- Michael Knight: What's that in English?
- Devon Miles: That is English.
- Michael Knight: Oh.
- Phillip Nordstrom: You see, this isn't plastic surgery, this is a concept borrowed from the future. Laser reconstruction. It requires no surgery, and the results are virtually immediate.
- Ardell: Are you always this persistent?
- Michael Knight: [fake laugh] Are you always this evasive?
- Marta Simmons: [nervous laugh] Gentlemen, please, I'm sure everything's alright.
- Michael Knight: She's sure, I'm not. Now once again, who did they meet with?
- Jennifer Knight: [to Michael] I'd hate to see a man with half of Devon's experience and only a fraction of his intelligence question his judgement. And don't forget, you're on suspension.
- Bonnie Barstow: [Bonnie has found the cheapest garage available] It belongs to RC3's father.
- 'RC3' Reginald Cornelius III: Yeah.
- Michael Knight: Don't tell me: RC2.
- Bonnie Barstow: I don't believe what just happened. Michael, what is wrong with him?
- Michael Knight: You're not gonna believe this, either. But that's not Devon Miles. Don't ask me what's going on here or how it happened, but that is not Devon.