- Arthur Spooner: Darling, I need to borrow the iron.
- Carrie Heffernan: Dad, I told you, if you want a grilled cheese sandwich, I will make you one!
- Doug Heffernan: So you're gonna get cancer to prove a point?
- Carrie Heffernan: Sure! I'll be in an iron lung, you'll be in a wheelchair. Hey, you know what, maybe we can chip in and get a helper monkey!