Keeping Up Appearances (TV Series)

The Candlelight Supper (1991)

Patricia Routledge: Hyacinth

Photos 

Quotes 

• Hyacinth : Don't grunt when you polish, Richard. I can hear you breathing, dear. I don't think it's quite nice to hear people breathing. You'd think by now evolution would have replaced our unfortunate bodily functions with something a little more tasteful. I suppose it was perfectly adequate for primitive peoples, but really.

  Richard : Well, we are merely mammals, after all.

  Hyacinth : Richard! What a thing to say to somebody with a solid silver self-cleaning sauce separator.

• [first lines] 

  Hyacinth : [answering the telephone]  The Bouquet residence, the lady of the house speaking.

  Hyacinth : You are whom? Actually, I think that should be 'who'. You are who?

  Hyacinth : The Department of Refuse Service Offices? Oh, you mean the rubbish people.

  Hyacinth : Yes, I am the lady who's been ringing all week with a complaint. Yes, thank you for finally retuning my call.

  Hyacinth : My complaint is about your dustbin lorries.

  Hyacinth : All right, your collection vehicles. They will keep passing down my avenue. Now I don't mind them coming on Tuesday because that's when I put my dustbin out. But I wish you would forbid them to pass down my avenue on other days. It gives the impression that I specialize in superfluous amounts of garbage.

  Hyacinth : Oh, I know what they're doing; they're taking the short cut, and I'd like you to do something about it.

  Hyacinth : Well, if that's your excuse I wouldn't even put it in a black plastic bag and stuff it in a dustbin. Hello. Hello.

  [clicks the hook several times] 

  Hyacinth : Hello.

  [hangs up] 

  Hyacinth : Bolshie binman.

• Hyacinth : [the doorbell rings]  Richard, our guests have arrived!

  Rose : You expecting company?

  Hyacinth : Oh, it's just Elizabeth from next door and her brother Emmet.

  Rose : Oh, I didn't know she had a brother.

  Hyacinth : Yes, he's recovering from rather a bad divorce.

  Rose : Oh, divorced, is he?

  [Elizabeth enters with Emmet] 

  Elizabeth : How are you, Hyacinth?

  Hyacinth : Oh, I, em. Ah...

  Rose : Oh, I can see he's suffered.

  [cuddles up to Emmet] 

  Rose : Some women can be *bitches*.

  [Hyacinth bristles]