Keeping Up Appearances (TV Series)

Early Retirement (1992)

Clive Swift: Richard

Photos 

Quotes 

• [first lines] 

  [Richard is shaving] 

  Hyacinth : Breakfast's on the table, Richard!

  Richard : Early retirement.

  Hyacinth : [singing]  Dee la dah la dee. Wear your best suit, dear. It is your last day. I want you to look particularly smart. After all, it's not everyone who gets offered early retirement. La dee, la dee. Swagger a bit. Put a bit of swank on. I'm the last person to put myself forward, as you know, but I do think it won't hurt the neighbours to see who's lucky enough to get early retirement round here. La dee.

• Hyacinth : Well, be more careful in future, Richard. Locking me out like that...

  Richard : I'm sorry. I wasn't thinking.

  Hyacinth : I will not have you "not thinking" in front of the neighbors, Richard!

  Richard : I'm just a little confused, this morning.

  Hyacinth : Well, it seems so, Dear!

  Richard : But I'm all right, now.

  Hyacinth : Are you sure?

  Richard : Absolutely fine.

  [Gets in the car and starts it, then just sits there, staring blankly off into space] 

  Hyacinth : [Waits, then when it's clear he's not going to move, goes and taps on the glass]  Richard?

  Richard : [opens the door]  Hello, Dear! What kind of day did you have?

  Hyacinth : [Pulls him out of the car]  Richard, I think you ought to walk to work today.

  Richard : Oh, yes. I will. I'll walk this morning.

  [starts walking down the road in the wrong direction] 

  Hyacinth : Richard!

  [Richard turns and walks the other way] 

• Richard's Boss : Well, there's no point dragging out these farewell scenes. Always best to get them over as quickly as possible, I always say.

  [Gets up and shakes Richard's hand, leading him to the door at the same time] 

  Richard's Boss : Well, goodbye, Richard, old boy. Think of us, when you're out there enjoying your freedom. Goodbye!

  [Goes back to his desk] 

  Richard's Boss : Now, where was I?

  Richard : [comes back in]  I could come in the odd afternoon.

  Richard's Boss : No, no. No, no, no. Make a clean break. Best way, I always think.

  Richard : Unless, of course, mornings would be better.

  Richard's Boss : Inside a week, you'll have forgotten all about us. Cheerio!

  Richard : I'll do anything. You won't have to keep me at my old grade!

  Richard's Boss : No. Look, I'm sorry, Richard.

  Richard : I mean, I don't think I'd be too proud to pop in for a potter, if you ever need a good potter...

  Richard's Boss : Yes, thank you, Richard!

  Richard : Mornings or afternoons. Mornings AND afternoons!

  Richard's Boss : Good-BYE, Richard!