Keeping Up Appearances (TV Series)

Country Retreat (1993)

Clive Swift: Richard

Quotes 

• Hyacinth : You don't like my hats!

  Richard : Look, I di- I never said I didn't like your hats!

  Hyacinth : Richard, is this the first chink in our marriage? I've heard about men in mid-life crisis. Now I'm warning you, Richard, I will not have you being unfaithful to my hats!

• Richard : Executive entertaining, that's more like you, Hyacinth. We're not really country material.

  Hyacinth : Oh, nonsense, dear! I shall develop a country version of my candlelight suppers. A sort of Ploughman's Soirée.

• [first lines] 

  Hyacinth : [sits up in bed]  If the Thorncliffs can have a little place in the country, why can't we? Mmh?

  [slaps Richard] 

  Richard : Bleuh.

  [Richard wakes up] 

  Hyacinth : I'm a country lover. You're a country lover.

  Richard : Not at this time in the morning.

  Hyacinth : I've always been a country lover.

  Richard : Since when? Grass doesn't behave like fitted carpet.

  Hyacinth : You know I love the country. We go on picnics.

  Richard : Yeah. With everything but the Royal Doulton and the silver teapot. We take tables, chairs, rugs.

  Hyacinth : I don't like the creepy-crawlies, though. But we'll find somewhere creepy-crawly-free. Oh, Richard, how exciting, our own little place in the country.

  Richard : Well, if you want a financial opinion, it'll have to be very little.

• Hyacinth : Richard, are you losing your nerve?

  Richard : Yes, it's gone completely!

• Hyacinth : [as she and Richard are driving along]  Watch out for other women.

  Richard : Where? Where?

  Hyacinth : Not here, dear. I mean in your midlife crisis. It's a time when men think of other women.

  Richard : Not me, Hyacinth, I assure you. For me, one woman is enough!