Justice League Unlimited (TV Series)

Flash and Substance (2006)

Alexis Denisof: Mirror Master, Sam Scudder, Tony

Quotes 

• [Flash is trying to outrun Mirror Master. Mirror Master is shooting small mirrors everywhere] 

  The Flash : You are so cleaning this place up.

  Mirror Master : Make me! Or rather... Find me!

  [Flash sees dozens of "Mirror Masters" in front of him. Only one is the real Mirror Master] 

  The Flash : [charging and swinging at each one]  Nope... Nope... Nope...

  [he finally hits the real Mirror Master] 

  The Flash : There you are!

• [a hologram appears] 

  The Flash : Mirror Master!

  Mirror Master : You're quick as ever.

  The Flash : Yeah? Well, you're... you're not really all there!

  Mirror Master : Oh, nice try. If you'd had another minute, you might have thought of a decent comeback.

• Mirror Master : Boomer, must you always plead poverty?

  Captain Boomerang : I've got my overhead! What do you know about poverty? All you have to do is pull another mirror out of your blinkin' arsenal!

• [as the Rogues are taken into custody, a crime scene tech sweeps up the pieces of the broken mirror in which Mirror Master is trapped] 

  Mirror Master : Are you sure that's all the pieces? I demand a full accounting! Where's my lawyer? I know my rights, you obscene caricature of a civil servant...!

  [his voice cuts off as the tech seals up the plastic bag] 

• Captain Boomerang : Now they tell me I'm reformed.

  Mirror Master : Reformed? The man who hijacked a whole fleet of armored cars in one month?

  Captain Boomerang : Now that was a crime.

  Mirror Master : Too bad the Flash busted you before you could spend a dime.

  The Trickster : And you know what else...?

  Captain Boomerang : Well, at least he didn't make me eat my own laser kaleidoscope!

  Mirror Master : That's a rumor! A complete exaggeration! And anyway, it was a laser pistol.

• Mirror Master : The hardest men in town, and we all have something in common.

  The Trickster : Bilateral symmetry!

• The Trickster : Me next! It's my turn - nothing as stupid as a giant boomerang! Firstly, I get 400 cases of fake dog-vomit, I grease the bottoms of them, and when the Flash runs into them, the whole mess slides into a wall of metal spikes! The cases break open, and what's left of the Flash is buried alive in phony barf! And then...

  [giggles] 

  The Trickster : Everything EXPLODES!

  [the other rogues just stare] 

  Captain Cold : You know what? Taking turns is dumb. Let's just all jump him at the museum.

  Mirror Master : Brilliant.

  Captain Boomerang : Good deal.

  The Trickster : Aw come on, it'll be great! Okay, you don't like the barf? I can make do with 50,000 rotten eggs and a chainsaw!

  [the others ride off without him] 

  The Trickster : Well, if that's the way you're gonna be, forget about it! I quit! Nobody gets me.

• Waitress : [to Flash villains]  What'll it be, boys?

  Captain Boomerang : Arnold Palmer.

  The Trickster : Cherry Cola.

  Mirror Master : Decaf Soy Latte.

  Captain Cold : Milk.

  [the others stare in confusion] 

  Captain Cold : [embarrassed]  My ulcer's been acting up.

• [trapped in Mirror Master's "Disco of Death"] 

  Mirror Master : I was never fond of you, Flash. But I'm a reasonable man. If you'd just looked the other way once in a while, we could have co-existed in peace. Instead, you never let up. So you've gotta go.

  The Flash : That music is what's gotta go!