Just Shoot Me! (TV Series)
Pass the Salt (1998)
Brian Dennehy: Red Finch
Quotes
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Dennis Finch : Why would anyone think I'm gay?
Red Finch : [Waiter arrives] Finally. Boilermaker, boilermaker, boilermaker...
Dennis Finch : Sea breeze.
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[Finch's father thinks he's gay, and he's trying to convince him that he's not]
Red Finch : I'm sorry I missed all those signs when you were growing up.
Dennis Finch : What signs?
Red Finch : That "special relationship" you had with that effeminate guy Kelly.
Dennis Finch : Kelly was a girl!
Red Finch : Wearing a baseball cap? I don't think so. And what about that time you fell off the roof? Ah, you screamed like a baby.
Dennis Finch : I was 5! I landed on a rake, I split my head open! They said I'm lucky to be alive!
Red Finch : Okay, okay, don't throw a hissy fit!
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Red Finch : [carrying an ax] Guess what they're handing out at the convention center?
Dennis Finch : Let me guess, axes?
Red Finch : You always were the wise one. Here, it's yours.
[hands Dennis the ax]
Dennis Finch : Thanks. This will come in handy never.
Guy with Tattoo : [comes out of elevator] Where's Dennis Finch?
Dennis Finch : Over here.
Guy with Tattoo : [seeing the ax] Never mind.
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Persky : [sees a bowl of fruit] Hey, fruit.
Red Finch : [grabs Pesky by the lapels] Hey, hey, hey! Listen, you homophobe! The term is gay. Gay, do you understand? Gay! Not fruit, or fairy, or salad shooter.
Persky : But I was...
Red Finch : We don't need your hate crimes around here! Who made you God, huh?
[tosses Pesky aside; sees bowl of fruit]
Red Finch : Hey, fruit.
