- Maya Gallo: You two are so alike.
- Jack Gallo: Yes, we both spend my money.
- Eve Gallo: And we each took a bath with my sister, only I was three at the time.
- [a few minutes later, Maya realizes what her mother said]
- Maya Gallo: [to Jack] You took a bath with Aunt Betty?
- Jack Gallo: It's complicated.
- Eve Gallo: Nina, you look fantastic.
- Nina Van Horn: Me? It's like you found the Fountain of Youth.
- [they turn away from each other]
- Eve Gallo: Poor thing. The years have been cruel.
- Nina Van Horn: Boy, Father Time sure gave her a good spanking.
- Bill Slatton: I may not have a job in a fancy magazine, but I have something you will never have: dignity. By the way, if you ever need golf lessons, I go by the name of Doctor Putts.
- Maya Gallo: Dad, please don't run away.
- Jack Gallo: I'm not running, I'm surviving. Does the antelope stand by the waterhole and converse with the surly panther? Not in my Africa.
- Elliot DiMauro: The longest relationship I was in was six months, and that was because I was alternating with twins.
- Dennis Finch: What's up, chief?
- Jack Gallo: Not much, except that acording to this heart monitor, I'm clinically dead.
- Dennis Finch: Let me be the first to say, you were a great, great man, and dibs on your wife.
- Jack Gallo: Dennis, hide this painting. Put it somewhere where no one ever goes.
- Dennis Finch: Gotcha. I'll put it in Maya's bedroom.
- Bill Slatton: I know what makes you tick, Dennis Finch.
- Dennis Finch: Yeah, right.
- Bill Slatton: I know you live in a world of fear. I know you stay awake at night, and as you stare at the darkness you know exactly what it feels like to be dead.
- [after a pause, Dennis runs away crying]
- Elliot DiMauro: Who are you?
- Bill Slatton: I'm the new guy.
- Elliot DiMauro: Who ordered a new guy?
- Nina Van Horn: I did, but there's been a mistake. You're supposed to show up at my friend Binnie's apartment wearing a gladiator outfit.
- Bill Slatton: Jack sent me here to crack the whip.
- Nina Van Horn: Again, that would be me.
- Jack Gallo: Maya, remember during the divorce we had that talk about how it wasn't your fault?
- Maya Gallo: Yes.
- Jack Gallo: We won't be having that talk.