Joan of Arcadia (TV Series)
Jump (2004)
Joe Mantegna: Will Girardi
Quotes
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Will Girardi : So, uh, what did you dream about?
Joan Girardi : Boys in mirrors.
Will Girardi : Well, maybe this is one of those dreams you shouldn't tell your father.
Joan Girardi : Like Orlando Bloom in a Speedo?
Will Girardi : Now I'm going to have a nightmare.
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Will Girardi : Good morning, Adam. Eat some breakfast. Make my wife happy.
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Will Girardi : What are you doing up?
Joan Girardi : I had kind of a weird dream.
Will Girardi : Koala bears?
Joan Girardi : No, dad, I haven't had the koala bear dream since I was five. Evil koala bears in hats. Ick.
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Helen Girardi : What is going on?
Will Girardi : We've been served a federal search warrant.
Helen Girardi : Why?
Will Girardi : My guess is the mayor is making allegations of his own, and these guys are here to check them out.
FBI Special Agent Shannon Hodgins : I'm not saying you're right, but I'm most definitely not saying you're wrong.
Joan Girardi : [snickering] You sound like God.
Will Girardi : FBI. Same thing.
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Helen Girardi : Watcha doing?
Will Girardi : I'm, um, making a list of demands.
Helen Girardi : Ooh. Who are we taking hostage?
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Will Girardi : I've been offered a job. Undersheriff, Arcadia division.
Helen Girardi : Honey, that is incredible.
Will Girardi : I didn't become a cop to make policy. I became a cop to put bad guys in jail.
Helen Girardi : Well, you are putting a large number of big, powerful bad guys in jail.
Will Girardi : Yeah. And I lost my entire police department doing it.
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Undersheriff Roy Roebuck : Why in God's name would you turn down this job?
Will Girardi : I knew a better candidate, Deputy Sheriff Roebuck.
Undersheriff Roy Roebuck : That's Undersheriff, like something from Robin Hood. And I'd appreciate a real answer.
Will Girardi : I turned down the job because I'm better where the rubber meets the road than I am in an office. In fact, you won't find anyone better when it comes to rubber and road.
Undersheriff Roy Roebuck : You looking to get back into the detective business?
Will Girardi : My wife likes Arcadia, and you're going to need someone to run the detective bureau.
Undersheriff Roy Roebuck : So you get me this job, and in return, I get you that job?
Will Girardi : Roy, you don't... get me that job. You... offer it to me. You're the boss.
Undersheriff Roy Roebuck : Damn right I'm the boss. You can't keep your secretary.
Will Girardi : Well, Jeanne? Y-you're gonna need her.
Undersheriff Roy Roebuck : This is my office.
Will Girardi : You're the boss.
Undersheriff Roy Roebuck : I don't need you to keep reminding me. I know who's the boss...
[offering a handshake]
Undersheriff Roy Roebuck : ...Detective Girardi.
Will Girardi : [shaking hands] Thank you... Undersheriff Roebuck.