- Augustus 'Gussie' Fink-Nottle: Oh, don't talk rot, Spode!
- Roderick Spode: I am not in the habit of talking rot!
- Augustus 'Gussie' Fink-Nottle: Well, I must say you're doing dashed well for a beginner.
- Bertie: The problem is, I've forgotten that jolly useful word you unearthed.
- Jeeves: Sir?
- Bertie: The one that always reduces Spode to a quivering mass of apology. I have a feeling I may need it.
- Jeeves: You are referring, I think, sir, to "Eulalie."
- Bertie: Eulalie, that's it! I wish you'd tell me what it meant. I mean, I have no complaints, but it's a bit like holding up a bank and not knowing whether your gun is loaded or not.
- Jeeves: I fear I'm not at liberty to disclose the details, sir. You may rest assured, however, that the weapon is loaded.
- Madeline Bassett: [to a party guest] Augustus is such a strong man. Strong - and silent.
- Augustus 'Gussie' Fink-Nottle: [runs into the room, trying to escape from Roderick Spode] Ahhhhhhh!
- [Madeline knocks on her father's study door, planning to announce her engagement]
- Sir Watkyn Bassett: Come in!
- [she opens it]
- Sir Watkyn Bassett: Madeline, my dear, what can I do for you.
- Madeline Bassett: Daddy, there's something I have to tell you...
- [She goes in, closing the door. Nothing can be heard for a few moments, until...]
- Sir Watkyn Bassett: [from within] Bertie Wooster? NOOOOO! Oh, dear God, Madeline, not that!
- Bertie: [blocked on the nightstand by the dog] Er, Stiffy. Would it be too much to ask you to attach a lead to the little fellow's collar, thus making the world safe for democracy?
- Stiffy: Yes, it would.
- Bertie: Wouldn't you want to save the lives of two fellow creatures?
- Stiffy: No, I wouldn't. Not if they're men. I loathe all men.