- Special Agent Clayton Webb: How long does it take to eat?
- Agent Ito: Depends. This Major a looker?
- Special Agent Clayton Webb: [thoughtful pause] Seven-point-six.
- Agent Ito: Wait, wait, wait - you break it down into tenths?
- Special Agent Clayton Webb: I use the Richter scale.
- Adm. Albert Jethro 'A.J.' Chegwidden: Mr. Roberts, do you know any military protocol for entering a vehicle with a senior officer?
- Lt. Bud Roberts, Jr.: Sir, yes, sir. One of the first things I learned at NROTC. When entering a vehicle with a senior officer, the junior officer enters first and the senior officer last, so when exiting the vehicle, the senior officer can exist first and the junior officer last.
- [Bud smiles]
- Lt. Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb, Jr.: You're the junior officer, Bud.
- Special Agent Clayton Webb: [about Bud] Admiral, this... officer doesn't have any skills I need.
- Adm. Albert Jethro 'A.J.' Chegwidden: He has enthusiasm, and knowledge that's already proved useful. Now this may be your investigation, but it's my Navy. He goes.
- Special Agent Clayton Webb: I guess being adversarial comes from being a lawyer, Admiral.
- Adm. Albert Jethro 'A.J.' Chegwidden: [tapping his ribbons] No, from bein' a SEAL.
- Special Agent Clayton Webb: Takeoff's in an hour.
- Lt. Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb, Jr.: I keep forgetting I don't know you.
- Maj. Sarah 'Mac' MacKenzie: Deja vu again?
- Lt. Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb, Jr.: Only whenever I see your face, or I hear you talk. I wouldn't know about your smile; I haven't seen one yet.
- Maj. Sarah 'Mac' MacKenzie: There's not much to smile about.
- Lt. Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb, Jr.: I guess not.
- Maj. Sarah 'Mac' MacKenzie: Sounds like I have a twin out there.
- Lt. Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb, Jr.: Not anymore.
- Lt. Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb, Jr.: Colonel O'Hara is your uncle and you didn't tell me?
- Maj. Sarah 'Mac' MacKenzie: I thought you knew and were playing it cagey.
- Lt. Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb, Jr.: I'm not that devious, Mac.
- Maj. Sarah 'Mac' MacKenzie: Yeah, well, somebody is. I got pulled off a double murder case to work this investigation and I doubt it was because of my vast experience with mail holdups in Arizona.
- Lt. Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb, Jr.: Well, it wasn't the admiral. He shoots straight from the shoulder. Webb, on the other hand, is probably devious taking a leak.
- Maj. Sarah 'Mac' MacKenzie: [Harm pulls out his cell phone] Who are you calling?
- Lt. Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb, Jr.: Admiral Chegwidden.
- Maj. Sarah 'Mac' MacKenzie: Wait a minute. What happens when you tell the admiral that Colonel O'Hara's my uncle?
- Lt. Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb, Jr.: He'll ask you where he might be.
- Maj. Sarah 'Mac' MacKenzie: And I'll refuse to answer.
- Lt. Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb, Jr.: I wouldn't do that, Mac. Not to Admiral Chegwidden. He's liable to charge you with dereliction of duty.
- Maj. Sarah 'Mac' MacKenzie: And he'd have every right. So please, don't make the call.
- Lt. Cmdr. Harmon 'Harm' Rabb, Jr.: Then I'll be the one withholding information.
- Maj. Sarah 'Mac' MacKenzie: If Webb and that FBI SWAT team get a hold of him, who knows what'll happen? So far, no one's been hurt. Give me a chance to keep it that way.
- Special Agent Clayton Webb: Look, it's a government car, all right? Nobody gives a damn about scratching a government car!
- Billie: Well, they do if they pay taxes!
- Adm. Albert Jethro 'A.J.' Chegwidden: Introduce yourselves to Clayton Webb, Special Assistant to the Undersecretary, who has point on this for State.
- Special Agent Clayton Webb: More than point, Admiral. The Declaration of Independence is a federal document. It's a State Department investigation.
- [Chegwidden stares daggers at Webb]
- Special Agent Clayton Webb: With the cooperation of the Judge Advocate General's Corps, of course.
- Adm. Albert Jethro 'A.J.' Chegwidden: Just call us "JAG", Mr. Webb. It's not such a mouthful.