The Honeymooners (TV Series)

Alice and the Blonde (1956)

Jackie Gleason: Ralph Kramden

Photos 

Quotes 

• Rita Wedemeyer : We have pet names for eath other.

  Ralph : Pet names for each other? Now, isn't that cute. I betcha that was your idea.

  Rita Wedemeyer : Yes, it was. Don't you have certain names you like to call your husband?

  Alice : Oh, I have several I'd love to call him.

  Rita Wedemeyer : All you have to do is pick out your husband's outstanding feature, and find a name that fits.

  Alice : Oh, I see.

  [to Ralph] 

  Alice : Isn't that a good idea, Tubby?

• Alice : I'll go fix my lipstick. I won't be gone long, Killer. I call you "Killer" 'cause you slay me.

  Ralph : And I'm calling Bellevue 'cause you're nuts!

• Bert Wedemeyer : Well, I'm pretty lucky, too. I have a wife, who every time she gets something for herself, she gives something to me.

  Ralph : Well, I wanna say, Mrs. Weidermeyer, that that's very thoughtful. It's not many wives who want to give their husbands somethin'.

  Alice : Oh, I don't know, Ralph. I've been thinking of giving *you* something. And you may get it real soon!

• Ralph : It just so happens that the Raccoon Lodge is going through a financial crisis. And I'm the treasurer, Alice, I'm responsible. If I don't get some money into that treasury, you know what might happen? The Bensonhurst chapter of the Raccoon Lodge may no longer be. Do you know what that means?

  Alice : Yeah. Real estate values in Bensonhurst will go up a hundred percent.

• Rita Wedemeyer : Hello.

  Ralph Kramden : Homina homina homina