Home Improvement (TV Series)

Yule Better Watch Out (1991)

Taran Noah Smith: Mark Taylor

Quotes 

• Mark Taylor : So Santa's alive?

  Jill Taylor : ...Yeah; you sat on his lap at the mall.

  Mark Taylor : But there are a lot of malls; how can he be at every one?

  Tim Taylor : He's real fast for a fat guy.

  Jill Taylor : Actually, honey, I think that those guys at the mall are Santa's helpers - you know, the way that Al is Daddy's helper.

  Tim Taylor : Right.

  Mark Taylor : [suddenly understanding]  So *they* do all the work.

  Tim Taylor : [irritated]  They *assist* Santa, like Al *assists* me.

• Randy Taylor : Mark, you're too old to believe in Santa Claus; kids are gonna start to make fun of you.

  Mark Taylor : What are you talking about?

  Randy Taylor : I hate to break it to you, but there is no Santa Claus.

  Mark Taylor : You guys are poop-heads!

  Randy Taylor : OK, fine; here's the truth: There used to be a Santa Claus, but he died six years ago.

  Brad Taylor : Yep... you just missed out.

  Mark Taylor : Santa Claus isn't dead.

  Randy Taylor : Yes, he is. He had a terrible accident with one of his reindeer - Blitzen fell on him.