- The Heroes need to get both a member of the French resistance and some bullet-proof vests out of Stalag 13.
- At the start, Kinchloe gets a message from London that a load of 'sugar candy' was almost intercepted, and they need a new drop point. Hogan, Newkirk, and Kinchloe speculate what it might be. One speculation is that it might be USO girls; another is that it is heavy equipment. Hogan relates the 'heavy equipment' to the 'USO girls', and says that it does not matter what they look like. Hogan, LeBeau, and Newkirk go out through the tree stump to get the drop. A C-47 drops the package; the scene shows a man jump out, but a large heavy box is picked up. The box contains bullet-proof vests. They can not carry the whole box back, so Hogan has LeBeau wear one, and the others are buried. The vest is so heavy that LeBeau can barely carry it.
The next scene shows a French Air Force Lieutenant Maurice DuBois coming to the front gate of STALAG 13 and surrendering. As Schultz is taking him to Klink's office, LeBeau talks to him in French. Part of the conversation is that DuBois tells LeBeau that he is here to pick up the vests. Schultz does not understand them, and he objects to them talking in French; he tells them not to talk in a language no one understands, but LeBeau says that he understands it. LeBeau tells Hogan that DuBois has come to pick up the bullet-proof vests.
Klink takes DuBois to his office, asks some questions, and sends him to the cooler. Klink prepares a letter to the Gestapo regarding the incident. Hogan gets a message from London to cooperate with DuBois. Hogan has Newkirk forge Klink's signature on a pass for the cooler to see DuBois. Carter cleans Klink's office, with Hilda nearby. He stops Klink's letter to the Gestapo regarding DuBois, and brings it to Hogan. Hogan goes to the cooler to talk with DuBois. DuBois tells him that resistance fighters are to be executed, and bullet-proof vests will help save them.
Hogan wants to get the vests and DuBois out of camp, but does not yet know how. When Hogan gets back to the barracks, he asks the men whet they need most at STALAG 13, "and don't say girls". Kinchloe finishes fixing the sink in the barracks, and says that what we need here is a plumber. Kinch was a plumber's helper for one summer before the war. German Corporal Schneider was a plumber here, but he was transferred to the Russian front. Hogan tells the men that DuBois was a plumber before the war, but does not know it yet.
As a distraction, LeBeau crumples up papers in the yard, and tosses them on the ground. Newkirk immediately picks them up with a stick and puts them in a garbage bag. After seeing them for a short while, Schultz starts following them. When Schultz asks them what is going on, LeBeau responds that 'practice makes perfect'. While this is going on, Kinch sneaks into Klink's quarters and breaks the faucet on his sink. Shortly later, Klink goes into the bathroom, starts to brush his teeth, turns on the faucet, and gets sprayed with water from the drain. He calls for Schultz. He tells Schultz that he has the most efficient camp in all of Germany, but they have no plumber. Schultz tells Klink that Corporal Schneider was the plumber, but was sent to the Russian Front. Klink wants to cancel the transfer and bring him back; Schultz replies "If you can dig him up", implying that he did not survive the Russian Front.
Klink asks Hogan for a plumber. Hogan says that they have a tech sergeant who is a dentist, but no plumber; but knows where there is one. He hints to Klink that DuBois is a plumber, but can't be used because he is in the cooler. Klink and Hogan go to the cooler to talk with DuBois. Klink asks DuBois what he did before the war. Hogan asks DuBois if he was always a plumber, subtly implying to DuBois to follow his lead. DuBois says that he was a plumber, and starts giving a short story on his family being plumbers.
Klink takes him outside. Schultz gives DuBois the kit of Schneider's plumbing tools that he had been saving for his widow. Hogan tells Kinch to kelp him, and Kinch feigns that he knows nothing about plumbing. DuBois and Kinch go into the crawlspace under Klink's quarters and start banging pipes. DuBois tells Kinch that he was not a plumber, but a real estate salesman before the war; Kinch tells DuBois he will tell him what to say. When they come out, DuBois tells Klink what needs to be done in a complicated manner. Schultz tells him that he can use Corporal Schneider's workshop.
Hogan, Carter, LeBeau, Newkirk, and DuBois go to the workshop, and Hogan has the box of vests brought in. He has Carter put one on; Carter objects, asking what happens if it doesn't work. Hogan asks Kinch to get Schultz. Hogan tells Schultz that he needs a rifle to test the vest. Carter is still softly objecting, saying that he didn't volunteer, but that he might have if asked. Schultz will not let Hogan fire the rifle, and stops the experiment. Schultz gets Klink for the demo, just as Hogan wanted. Klink at first gets angry at DuBois, asking DuBois if he has been working on these vests instead of fixing his sink. Hogan shoots the rifle at the vest (not being worn by Carter); the bullet did not penetrate the vest. DuBois wants to talk to Klink alone; Hogan overhears the soft talking, and objects, Telling DuBois not to sell them out. Klink has Schultz take the other men out of the room. DuBois convinces Klink that he still has the formula in his head; he wants to sell the vests and formula to Klink for his freedom; he wants to go to Vichy. DuBois convinces Klink to turn them over to Berlin.
Klink calls General Burkhalter and asks him to come over for a demonstration. He tells Burkhalter that he has been working on this in his spare time. At the demo, Klink shoots the rifle at the vest, and the metal is just dented. Burkhalter tells Klink that his aide, Captain Franz, will take them to Berlin. Klink wants to go also, but Burkhalter tells Klink that that they are his invention, not Klink's, essentially 'stealing' the invention from Klink, who stole it from DuBois.
The next scene shows Kinch looking through the land periscope to see if the area is clear. Hogan, Carter, Newkirk, and LeBeau go out through the tunnel. They stop Captain Franz's car, with Franz driving and DuBois in the passenger seat, and take the pass signed by General Burkhalter at gunpoint. Hogan tells Franz to take off the uniform, or Hogan will shoot it off. They give the uniform to DuBois who puts it on and drives off.
At the end, in Klink's office, Klink tells Hogan and Schultz that Franz, DuBois, and the vests are missing, and no one knows what happened. Klink asks Schultz to check the sink faucet. Schultz turns on the 'hot' valve, it works properly; he turns on the 'cold' valve, and it works properly. Klink turns on both at once, and he gets sprayed by a large stream of water from the drain. Klink asks Hogan what does he do now? Hogan tells Klink not to pay the bill.
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