- Claudia Finnerty: [after hearing of Sean's mishap with Ryan] Wow! Why didn't you just hit the kid over the head with a tire iron?
- Sean Finnerty: There were witnesses everywhere!
- Eddie Finnerty: No! I'm dumping her! She's already talking about having children!
- Claudia Finnerty: What did she say?
- Eddie Finnerty: We were at the park the other day and she said, "Look out for that kid!"
- Claudia Finnerty: That's not the same thing.
- Eddie Finnerty: It's a small step. I could hear her ovaries firing up!
- Claudia Finnerty: [Hearing Eddie's scheme to date and dump women he finds on the Jewish dating website, J-Mate] So, what happens if you fall in love with this woman?
- Eddie Finnerty: Well, then I'll convert.
- [Glances down at his groin]
- Eddie Finnerty: I'm already up to code.
- Claudia Finnerty: Okay. Ew!
- Brad O'Keefe: Want a da?
- Lily Finnerty: What's a da?
- Brad O'Keefe: It's short for soda. You call pizza "za", soda's a "da".
- Croyce, Mitchell: I'll take a da!
- Lily Finnerty: I'm gonna commit "su".
- Claudia Finnerty: Brad's friends seem nice.
- Lily Finnerty: Take off the mom hat and put on the chick hat.
- Claudia Finnerty: Oh, my God! Dorks!
- Claudia Finnerty: Tim Sheehan? What was *he* doing there?
- Sean Finnerty: That's who they got to replace me! If it weren't for that smug bastard! And there he was, being all smug and bastardy! What was I supposed to do?