- Oliver Wendell Douglas: How do they determine how much
- [State Farm Unattached Duty Tax]
- Oliver Wendell Douglas: you owe?
- Hank Kimball: Well, they take your acreage and - well, they don't take your acreage unless you didn't pay the tax bill. They have a computer with a stack of cards, and each card has a taxpayer's name on it. In your case it would be, uh - well, whatever your name is. Each card has holes punched in it. This is done at the State Department of Hole Punching. Three men work there - the Head Hole Puncher, the Assistant Head Hole Puncher, and his brother-in-law.
- Oliver Wendell Douglas: Which one punched the holes in your head?
- Oliver Wendell Douglas: The last time you had election for assemblyman, who ran from this district?
- Sam Drucker: I did.
- Oliver Wendell Douglas: Oh?
- Sam Drucker: I was defeated.
- Oliver Wendell Douglas: Who ran against you?
- Sam Drucker: Nobody.
- Oliver Wendell Douglas: And you lost?
- Sam Drucker: No.
- Oliver Wendell Douglas: Well then you won?
- Sam Drucker: No.
- [a beat]
- Sam Drucker: No, you see, election day is the first Tuesday after the first Monday in September. But the word got around it was the first first Monday after the first Tuesday and that's when everybody showed up. And by that time, it was too late.
- Oliver Wendell Douglas: When was this?
- Fred Ziffel: 1922.
- Eb Dawson: [runs into the house, shouting] Mr. Douglas! Mr. Douglas!
- Oliver Wendell Douglas: What?
- Eb Dawson: You'd better get out of town.
- Oliver Wendell Douglas: Why?
- Eb Dawson: They're gonna tar and feather you for getting that tax refund.
- Lisa Douglas: Darling, I'm so proud of you.
- Lisa Douglas: [Lisa finds Oliver with a young woman in their hotel room] Well, what have we got here?
- Oliver Wendell Douglas: Eh, this is Miss Hawkney, she's a public stenogropher.
- Lisa Douglas: Then why is she stenographing here, in private?